still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[newmama]

I am sorry for being defensive, FM. I feel a lot of guilt about changing the visitation arrangement.

(((FM))) I apologize for snapping at you.

Thank you, Gatsby- at the same time that I feel guilty for uprooting S from his evenings here, I also feel like it is time that WH really sees what his future will look like- and it will help S adjust in the long run if this becomes his normal, sadly.

CW Logically I KNOW that I must accept WH's decision this time as one that he will follow through with. It really is better to assume it is over (at this point) so that I can make authentic steps toward detachment and acceptance of my life as a divorcee.

It sucks that he hasn't followed through in the past, though, because it makes me have 5% hope that he won't! Arghh!

AT LEAST NC will provide me with peace from seeing WH and it is the key for detachment...I did detach from him during my third trimester when I did NC but darn it, it was interrupted by S' birth!

The other thing is that divorcing with children is so strange because as much as I want to remove WH from my life, I can't.
(Aside from the mixed up life that S will lead!)