MLC - standing by my man

[Mila]

I knew that one of these days I will have a bad one again...and I was doing so well....

First OW's H called me again (I though he'd stopped). His insecurities kind of rubbed off on me and I start thinking the worst...that maybe the affair is still going on. Not a good start to a day. Didn't get much better after that.

H is really crabby today...long face,short answers, coldness, no smiles...
I called him to tell him that I have his rent cheque ready, I'll be running some errands and could drop it off for him.

Told him that I will call when I'm in the front of his building so he can come down and pick it up. Well I got there and kept calling and he was not picking up I was just about to leave when he finally answered. I said that I was worried that he was not home. When he came downstairs he said "my phone was right beside me and it didn't ring...are you going to get that present for my dad?" He sounded short, gloomy, kind of pissed off. No smile, no appreciation...nothing. And here I am...bringing him HIS rent cheque and going to shop for HIS dad's present.

Later today I needed his signature on a tax return and again, he is not picking up his cell or house phone. So I left few messages because it was urgent. Finally he calls back already grumpy and tells me that he was on the phone (must have been a very long call) that's why he didn't pick-up...still short and cold.

Talked to him about the taxes. The accountant doesn't know that we are separated and did what he always does...he splits the income in between us. He usually takes the write-offs of off one of us. This year it ended up being me. I didn't know ahead of time which one of us it will be. H got really upset "Are you telling me that I owe taxes and you don't?". Very confrontational. Made me feel like he is accusing me of trying to rip him off. I told him that the accountant just did what he usually does, he doesn't know about our situation and that I can call and have him re-do it if he wants me to. Then I clammed up because I was fighting tears. He starts saying in a raised voice "Why are you upset, I didn't say anything to be upset about, what did I do?" I said that I'm fine, I was just surprised that he reacted to it. He said that the returns are OK "as is"...just sign it.

After I hung up I had a good long cry. The way he talked to me today just makes me wonder why did he even say that he wants to R. But that was 3 weeks ago, maybe he doesn't want to anymore...who knows he is not talking about it.

Just venting....tomorrow is another day...