My W has terrible allergies. Every two months or so she gets this way. Starts off with sore throat and escalates...build sinus pressure and causes headaches then the meds causes stomach pains...
So as I always had I been doing my best to take care of her, when she allows.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
We woke up next to each other in the same bed. I went to personal training this morning. I returned home, W still in bed but is ready to go...still not feeling well. We go to the mall and shop around for W shoes for the wedding tomorrow.
We catch a movie, hit up a few more stores and call it a day since W feels drained.
W was withdrawn at times. W would respond with shoulder shrug and facial expressions. At times I felt like I had the green light to spark a convo but then W would not seem all to interested what I had to say.
I did call my W out on a few things sort of speak. Just common courtesy things like if I said "TY" she would not say "YW."
For the most part we got along pretty well. Not the woman I know but I appreciate the time we did spend with each other today and hope tomorrow goes even better.
At point I mentioned to W about possible shift change...this shift change would be better for my mental and physical well being but would devastate the time we spend together. Right now and the reason why I took this shift was because we would see each other 8 hours out of the day but with a new schedule it would only be 2-3 at the most...W seemed bothered but I could not really tell.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
One thing I learned in my marriage and long term relationships, is sometimes you can see them too much. So even when you are available for 8 hrs a day, you may still only see her for 2 hrs per day, otherwise be working on something.
Quick update, I will get more in depth about some things in a later post.
We ended up going to the wedding, Just before we left W lashed out at me for the dog jumping up on her. W DID NOT wear her wedding ring. At the wedding W would give me weird looks when I said some things. I did make W laugh quite often. W refused to dance with me, her excuse was "We did not even dance at our own wedding" This is true, my W and I don't like being center of attention and agreed before our wedding that we would not have a traditional dance at the reception. I thought I would do a 180 tonight and ask her to dance but she was no going for it.
I gave my W a compliment she really had no reaction to it. We had an OK time but not as good as I would have hoped. Here's to a better tomorrow........
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
W returned home from work, told me she wanted to lay down for a bit before getting ready for the wedding. W laid down I went to the gym and ran a couple errands. When I got home W was sleeping. W wakes up while I was getting ready and told me "OIN I am going to grab something to eat then get ready ok?" and I say "Of course that is OK, take your time." It was different for her to tell me she was going to do something in the form of a question...usually she just does whatever she wants as she would put it.
We both get ready to leave, compliment W dress. W takes out her camera and take picture of me, then wants me to take a picture of her (?). Dog jumps up on W and she said "OIN can you make she the dog stays away" I say "sure, no problem" at the time dog had walked away, I turn to grab something and dog had comeback and jumped on her again so my W got very upset and lashed out at me, so I said in return nearly loosing my cool "When you asked, she was nowhere near you so I thought she would be ok" my W still upset started to mock me. At first I wanted to lash back but remained calm as I could and instantly changed the subject and returned back to being upbeat.
We made it out the door without further incident. During our drive there, I felt like there was tension between us but I could be mistaken. I could have created that tension because on the inside I was upset that she failed to wear her wedding ring. I should no had let it get to me.
At the wedding I did my best to remain upbeat but it was tough, my W was very withdrawn. We sat we a good friend of mine who is engaged. Most of the conversations at the table were about marriage or wedding planning. As I looked at the bride walk around I made the comment to my W, "it is me or does she not look happy?" so my W says "Maybe she realized what a big mistake she just made." This comment was completely I my W.
Throughout the night I found myself allowing my W comments or expression affecting me to the point where I would say something in return.
I asked my W to dance and she refused. Eventually we ended our night and headed home. We stopped off at a store on the way home to get cold medicine for my W. Before we went to check out she said to me "maybe I should have you cash out for me because I can't talk, my throat hurts too much." I said "that is no problem" she then told me nevermind...I asked "why do u need ur voice to cash out" jokingly and she said "cause they greet you and I don't want to be rude." and so I said "Oh you mean like when I say TY and never get a ur welcome" she said "whatever" realizing I just got her upset, I changed the subject and went back to being upbeat...
I have to re-read some posts, I feel like I am loosing focus and becoming attached to her words and emotions again to the point where I say something out of defense.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
W returned home from work, told me she wanted to lay down for a bit before getting ready for the wedding. W laid down I went to the gym and ran a couple errands. When I got home W was sleeping. W wakes up while I was getting ready and told me "OIN I am going to grab something to eat then get ready ok?" and I say "Of course that is OK, take your time." It was different for her to tell me she was going to do something in the form of a question...usually she just does whatever she wants as she would put it.
We both get ready to leave, compliment W dress. W takes out her camera and take picture of me, then wants me to take a picture of her (?). Dog jumps up on W and she said "OIN can you make she the dog stays away" I say "sure, no problem" at the time dog had walked away, I turn to grab something and dog had comeback and jumped on her again so my W got very upset and lashed out at me, so I said in return nearly loosing my cool "When you asked, she was nowhere near you so I thought she would be ok" my W still upset started to mock me. At first I wanted to lash back but remained calm as I could and instantly changed the subject and returned back to being upbeat.
We made it out the door without further incident. During our drive there, I felt like there was tension between us but I could be mistaken. I could have created that tension because on the inside I was upset that she failed to wear her wedding ring. I should no had let it get to me.
At the wedding I did my best to remain upbeat but it was tough, my W was very withdrawn. We sat we a good friend of mine who is engaged. Most of the conversations at the table were about marriage or wedding planning. As I looked at the bride walk around I made the comment to my W, "it is me or does she not look happy?" so my W says "Maybe she realized what a big mistake she just made." This comment was completely I my W.
Throughout the night I found myself allowing my W comments or expression affecting me to the point where I would say something in return.
I asked my W to dance and she refused. Eventually we ended our night and headed home. We stopped off at a store on the way home to get cold medicine for my W. Before we went to check out she said to me "maybe I should have you cash out for me because I can't talk, my throat hurts too much." I said "that is no problem" she then told me nevermind...I asked "why do u need ur voice to cash out" jokingly and she said "cause they greet you and I don't want to be rude." and so I said "Oh you mean like when I say TY and never get a ur welcome" she said "whatever" realizing I just got her upset, I changed the subject and went back to being upbeat...
I have to re-read some posts, I feel like I am loosing focus and becoming attached to her words and emotions again to the point where I say something out of defense.
she's baiting you and getting the reaction she wants. she's trying to push your buttons and you fall for it everytime. Until that stops this back and forth is going to continue.
Then your "TY/ur welcome" comment really wasn't positive.
Not saying you should be a doormat. But what is this accomplishing man? Is it helping to improve your sitch?
what are your boundaries? what are your goals?
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
