Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Problems with computer...

2. What reasons do you think that she had/has for going to the OM?
I am sure it is me having no job. I am sure she thinks it is on purpose that I do not. I will not describe every reason that things have not worked out, but it is not for lack of trying. I want a job more than anyone. I have put her and the kids before me always. It is financial, and a fight over her current position. Long story there. We both made mistakes on that one.


3. If she came back to you in a month or two, would you want to forgive and accept her back or would you just consider it
Yes, if she was really sincere. I do not want a divorce!

[LSG]

4. What things have you done so far to change (180s) the M environment?

I have detached and distanced myself from her. I have found a temporary position. I have took more interest in me and let her take care of herself more. I have quit showing her emotion. I have not GALed because I barely have enough money to buy food. I take the kids on their scooters and out more. That is the best I am doing. I know it is not enough...

[LSG]

5. What have you been doing to deal with the stress you must be feeling so you don't show it in body language, words, or actions?

I have been detaching and spending time with the kids. The temporary position has helped to be away from the problem. I talk to my parents, post here, pray, and detach to keep my sanity. I just keep focused on myself and my kids. I do not focus on the A anymore. I think about it, but I do not let it consume me as did when I found out. It has been a long hard road with no end in sight. I tell myself everyday "I will be okay." I mean it to. In my mind, there really is nothing more she can do to hurt except for the kids

[LSG]

I will not exact revenge. It is a no win situation. I am not that way. I just want my kids in joint physical custody, and a job. I will be okay with that.

LSD = LoveSickGuy: Another poster thought I should change it, and another poster used LSG. No, I am not high all the time. Just kidding!!! Never use drugs. Have really not drank alcohol since this began. I would give the DB book to the OMW if I had any spare cash. I will not be able to have an attorney at this point if I am not careful.

[LSG]

Onthemountaintop,

Thanks for asking the questions! I really appreciate your interest and taking time to view my thread.

I wish nothing but the best for you and your sitch. It is so hard sometimes, but you will be okay. Keep positive regardless of what happens.

That is how I live more and more these days. She cannot that that away from me. No one can!!!

[LSG]

Hi DaddylongShanks,

She does want to confront him, but she needs the info. I will give her what I have when I have discussed with my attorney. I cannot make any mistakes that could possibly cost me my kids at this point.

I don't think he will stay with the W even if she does confront him, but I could be wrong. Only time will tell. It will happen when OMW is ready.

Thanks for your interest and input as always. I do have some options, but I will consider those when I have thought of the consequences more. In my signature is my reason for my considering everything she will do.

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

With respect to the kids. You need to talk with attourneys and "fathers rights" groups to get all your info. The power move with her pulling the money out the account without telling you is just that. She may do one behind the kids, IE: full custody. You need to learn all you can about this.

[Onthemountaintop]

I've heard, but do check, that the biggest factor in custody is who usually takes care of them. Likely, she'd have to pay child support to you.

But is this a thing that needs to fill your time? I admit to doing the same, and knowing both options is healthy. But...you've said saving your marriage was your #1 concern - so I think you should focus there unless you change your mind (and you are sure - ignore the angry moments)

[sandi2]

LSG, out of curiosity, who would you pick as your favorite male hero in a movie? What character would you most like to be, if you had the ability to be like him?

Have you ever watched that old movie, "Gone With the Wind"? If not, please watch it. The main character, Scarlette O'Hara is a WAW! Rhett Butler is what a "real man" should be......IMHO (lol),but of course that is not every male's personality type.

Anyway, just thought it would be interesting to know who you saw yourself being or wanting to be like in a story.

[Steve McQueen]

excellent question.