Game Point

[tryingtilDorR]

I hear you. I am not interested in getting into a real romantic relationship with someone right now. Things are too complicated. I feel like I am emotionally detached enough from W but my life is 'messy'. W still needs to move out, there will be major adjustments for my children, and this woman lives in the next town over. The fact that she is a little far away helps to keep things at a certain pace given how busy I am right now.

In order to measure my level of emotional detachment, I just consider the fact that I am looking forward to W being gone and almost don't care anymore about what she is doing with OM as a sign that I could be ready for 'dating'. She has treated me like dirt for 18 months, flaunted an OM in my face for the most part, etc etc. It was bound to happen eventually I figure.

However, I am starting to worry a little about my W. She seemed incredibly irritable yesterday and even more so today. We had a misunderstanding about money, and it had to do with paying the first/last months' rent on her rental. I mistakenly thought she planned to 'pay back' some more of the money when she got her check, and so I had transferred it (we have separate accounts but they are linked). Just take my word that there was communication that happened that led me to believe that she intended to pay back some of the money when she got paid.

She just noticed this and went absolutely ballistic. I told her I was sorry and I didn't realize she didn't want me to do that, but I assumed she would be providing more based upon our conversation. She claims that she explicitly told me to NOT do this, which is crazy (I would have remembered that). She said something like: "I don't have the money right now and I have other bills to pay over there and have to get furniture for that G** D*** PLACE!"

I told her maybe she should open up her own account but she was screaming and yelling so much about this whole thing like I haven't heard in a long time - it was nuts. Just a simple misunderstanding.

Anyway, the content of the argument probably doesn't matter, but I am getting concerned about her mental state. She seem REALLY wacky. The info I picked up about her looking up XANAX side effects (irritability, on top of her possible clinical depression) caught my attention as well.

This morning we needed to call a plumber and I was headed to work and she is off, and she said that she didn't feel like hanging around all day to wait for a plumber, and I asked her why since we needed this fixed before the weekend and she said "I don't feel like hanging around this G** D*** PLACE all day" Again, the profanity is out of character for her and particularly irritable.

I think it was SmileyPerson who called this the BatS*** Crazy thing?

I think OM is big in her life now that she has a place to hook up with him and the stress of all that, having to figure out how to move out, tell her kids, plus any effects of mind-altering drugs she might be taking (XANAX from OM) are causing a meltdown of some sorts. I am going to watch her closely this weekend assuming she is around.

I am detached and trying to enjoy life!