Flow - I didn't see your reply. Actually, that's next weeks project. I can barely type this to you w/out crying. Such a shame. Remarkable children. Far from remarkable Dad. I would never choose this outcome for my boys. They are so young and innocent.
It's funny... not funny ahhaha, but funny strange.... I NEVER imagined this for them. Now that it's a reality... I'm startting to get PISSED OFF!
Couldn't you just say?
Listen W............. I'm tired of you adoring the children and not me. Pay attention or I'm filing for divorce.
WOULD HAVE WORKED.
Instead, now I look at HIM for OUR sake only, and think... There is no f"ing way I'd want to see him naked. Was I high?
It's all good.
For once in a ver long time, I have a free night.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Flow - I didn't see your reply. Actually, that's next weeks project. I can barely type this to you w/out crying. Such a shame. Remarkable children. Far from remarkable Dad. I would never choose this outcome for my boys. They are so young and innocent.
I know. It's by far the hardest part for me.
Originally Posted By: mindfull
Couldn't you just say?
Listen W............. I'm tired of you adoring the children and not me. Pay attention or I'm filing for divorce.
WOULD HAVE WORKED.
I hear ya.
I hope you take tonight to just make it all about Mind.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Not so good am... H gets home in the wee hours. This am we are getting ready to go to S13's track meet. H comes in the kitchen, having a fit. S13 got his foot cleated in his soccer ame this week. He saw the club trainer, who at first thought broken, then a sprain. Told him to try and do light exercise, and see how it feels in a few days. Well, S13 was scheduled to run the 1600, 400 and 4x400 this am. He tells H he tried to run a little bit this am, and it is killing him. He will probably have to scratch his events (and he's really sad...).
H is LIVID that he is awake and ready to go, without need this am. He is a complete jackass in the kitchen to me, and I just ignore him. Well, that's making him madder, and he finally says... "You guys go about YOUR day. Do what YOU want, and Ill do what I want.". I tell him that its a fine idea.
I finish getting ready, ignoring... I hear him getting slightly nasty w/the boys. I go to make sure all is okay, and S10 is starting to cry because Dad won't go to his soccer game. S13 has now adopted a dejected looking expression and body language.
I just tell the boys something like, "Boys, I'm glad to go have fun. I missed you during the week, and let's just go kick butt. "
H leaves a bunch of cash on the kitchen counter, and leaves yelling...
So, I'm showing the boys today that we can have fun and be okay on our own. Also, just trying to not be an emotional presence for them, but a strong one.
So, H txtx me during meet. I ignore. Tells me he has fired the handyman and the cleaning staff, and that he is on a roll. (Ignore). Then, tells me not to worry about him. He's just doing things and buying things for us so we can go about our lives w/out his opresence. (Ignore).
We are at s10's game now. H says he won't be home for a long while. At this point, I hurt for my boys terribly, but am glad for the peace
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
That sounds so familiar. Every minute of X's hell-filled work day was done so he could pay for everything the kids and I needed. None of it was for him, all for us unappreciating meanies...
Puh-lease!!!!
I hope firing everybody gave him a good adrenaline rush and feeling of control... (eye roll!)
Glad you are being the source of strength for your boys. Like that was ever in doubt!
The "man" is full of himself, isn't he! I'm thinking the stress of handling his second life is getting to him. And I also think that he senses that you are going on with life. He doesn't understand it, and he doesn't like the idea that he might not be driving the boat. His reaction.... lash out, and blame everyone else for his own unhappiness, of course!
(((Mindfull))) good for you for being there for the boys. Keep your focus on them and on you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
BBJ - LOL! Gosh, you seem to relate so well. Oh, well, all is good. We are home from activities now, and he's not. So, at least it's peaceful. If I didn't have my boys, I would hope he just stayed the F away forever.
Jeff - He is NOT driving his boat anymore. I would guarantee he's getting stressed out because I'm not the DB'ing Queen anymore. Blech... Double Blech...
Ferg - S10 just said to me... "Mom, you never get mad and leave us..." (tears) I just said, "No, S10. I don't. But, remember that everyone handles anger differently. Why don't you just try to remember this feeling, in case you ever want to do it that way... It's hurtful to those left behind." Luvless had a great quote a few pages back... have to find it.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
