What type of depression? Feeling unsexy? Unpretty? No self esteem? Did she state that her A made her feel better about herself? If these questions are too personal just let me know. You seem to be pieceing and I don't want to reopen any wounds
The way she explains it to me is that the entire world just looks gray. Nothing gives her happiness or excitment. She loses any sense of purpose in life. Fortunately, she is only depressed for temporary periods (usually 2-5 days at a time). She knows that it is temporary and battles through it; for the most part, she has come to accept that it is a part of her.
Obviously, she does not feel sexy or pretty during these times. I would discourage any advance of a H on a depressed W; it shows a total lack of empathy towards your spouse. But it goes way beyond not feeling sexy or pretty or having low self-esteem. For her, she seems to lose all meaning for life. She believes that she is a burden to anyone near her. Sometimes it seems like she feels severe guilt for simply existing.
As for our wounds, don't worry. They need to be revisited; they are impossible to sweep under the rug. These wounds are revisited on a daily basis regardless. You need to learn to feel comfortable with them.
I hope you get there James. But right now , from the little I have read, it sounds like you need to be focusing on you instead of your W.
