Not much to report - trying to get along in life in my apartment - working on myself - have a DivorceCare support meeting tonight - looking forward to it. Separation/Detachment is a very tough, but I continue to fight my emotions thru each day. No mention from W reagrding Easter Sunday - I'm sure I will take my D11 to church at the very least - we'll see what comes.
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Hi Tom! Thanks for the encouragement over in my thread! Hope your Divorce care meeting went well! And, oh yeah! Detachment is one of the hardest things I have ever done, well, not totally there yet...but working on it! I really believe that it is the key to get thru this!
What are you doing for you? Besides the DC meetings?
Do you have family close by that you can spend time with them on Easter? Don't wait for W to make your plans! Go ahead and plan something fun with your D11!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Yes detachment is a challenge no doubt. You would think six months down the road I would be dealing with this better - but I know there is no timetable and its just a grind it out and get thru each day type of thing - at least for me.
Support group meeting was good - always good to be around people who understand and can sympathize and offer advice. The discouraging thing is that there are people I meet who are 5 years down the road, and they are still having detachment issues. I know everyone is different, but I also know me and I've always been an emotional person, and I worry that I will continue to feel like I'm feeling. People do tell me it begins to subside and hurt less - but it takes time and everyone is different. So -one day at a time still the best strategy.
W called me last night and invited me and my son to Easter dinner on Sunday at the house. It's more like a "come over and eat" type of invite, but I accepted and will make the best of it.
Not really doing much for myself or gal'ing for that matter - I am really just trying to adjust to all this and keep my sanity. You seem to be doing really well and have a positive attitude - so like I said in your thread - keep it up - thats a great thing. Will stop by your thread later.......
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
I had a couple of triggers this weekend that brought me down a little but coming back up again! I actually sat down at work yesterday (was not busy at all) and wrote some things down from the beginning of mine and H's meeting, relationship etc. He has dropped so many bombs on me thru out our whole marraige and writing it down reminded me of that. I am amazed at how much I have put out of my mind and have been romanticizing our relationship since he has left! It helped to remind myself that it has not all been a bed of roses!!!
Hope you are doing ok!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
W called me last night and invited me and my son to Easter dinner on Sunday at the house. It's more like a "come over and eat" type of invite, but I accepted and will make the best of it.
Tom, Hey, hope you are doing well. I am slowly catching back up on some threads and I wanted to make an observation on your last post.
Sometimes we miss the progress we have made b/c we are standing so close to the situation. If you go back and read your posts from the beginning I think you will see your W wanted you out of the house period, done, don't come back. IMO this is a positive step even though it doesn't feel the way you want it to. It is a small step.
Make sure you write it down. If you keep it up and I know it is hard to do, you will see other things very slowy at first. But then they come faster and faster.
Hang in there.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Hey Tom! How have you been? I like what missherlove says about Easter being a small step!!! Also, writing this stuff down helps! It is hard for the LBS to see these small steps and that is why it is good to post it on here because others like mhl notice and can point out the small steps and positives as they see it from a less emotional point of view!!! Let us know how you are doing!!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Hey Tom, Where ya at man? Let us hear from you, how is it going? Hope you are busy doing something fun for Tom, something good for Tom. Have you started that journal?
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Guess I just felt like going dark for awhile. Not much to report - nothing much has changed - W and I dont discuss anything about seperation and our personal thoughts. Trying to adjust to new life and taking one day at a time. W went away for the weekend so I have been back at my house and had good weekend with my D11 and D21, but back to my apartment tomorrow when W returns. GALing is difficult - haven't done much in that regard - I am just trying to stay positive and take each moment as it comes along. Hope all is well with everyone out there.
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Just haven't felt like writing much I guess. Tonight - I am going out with some of the fathers I coached daughters basketball team with who know my sitch. It will actually be the first time I am "out" - so its a good thing. Basically they have been trying to get me to go out for months - finally dragging me out tonight for dinner and drinks and shooting the breeze. Should be a good time. D11 also has a softball game and a playoff volleyball game this weekend - so I am sure to spend time w her Sat and Sun - good stuff. My D21 and her boyfriend got lost visiting friends last night - called me about midnight and I stayed on talking w her for about an hour while I helped direct them back to neighborhood - also good stuff - I didn't mind at all - dont talk with her as much as I would like - she's so busy with school and work. Looking forward to this weekend...
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
