MLC, H and me

[courageous wife]

Thanks for the support guys! Pass-thankyou for reminding me that I am good Mom...

Well, I only cried just a little at the L's and it was only after she said "I can see that you would rather be any place but here with me right now?" She finished my answer and cross complaint...she again stressed that she would do what I wanted but that if she did not think that what I wanted would be in my best interest she would let me know!

I told her I was apprehensive about asking for the support that she was proposing and she reminded me again of the std I got from H and his A and how expensive the med. is etc. She also reminded me that H is the one that filed and refused a LS. Before, I had asked her to drag this D out as long as possible and she pointed out that now is the time to strike (for lack of a nicer word) while H is still having some guilt. If he fights what we are asking and go to court, it is possible that OW may have to get on the stand to answer questions about the STD and she highly doubted that OW would want to have to do that in HER hometown with HER parents there and her religious background. She also reminded me, as you all have, that I need to think of myself and my kids now and not worry about what he thinks of me.

L did say that there is not a dang thing I can do about the kids staying at OW's house unless the kids say she is mean or abusive etc. or if she has a record. But, since H hasn't really seen a whole lot of the kids or asked to have them overnight, I am thinking that I won't have to worry too much about this for awhile anyway.

Why can't H and OW see what they are both doing to their families? Arrgg!!! DIL said that 3 yr old grandson asked how come grandpa is never at his house...she asked how you tell a 3 yr old that grandpa doesn't live at his house anymore...sad.

So, right now, I am still calling myself a "stander", but am having thoughts of feeling like a fool for hanging on to hope as long as I have. I made a timeline and H has been in replay since 2001...I don't know, but am thinking that someone who has been in this stage for as long as he has, is not looking very hopeful that he will ever come out of it.

Good thing I am busy all weekend...some work, some have to's, and some play! One of my co-workers talked me into joining her jazzercise class...omg, I haven't done an exercise class for at least 20yrs! But, will be good to tone up what is left after the weight loss!