Took my wife for granted, now she is done. help!

[TimeHeals]

Puppy,
those where probably the wron terms. I guess what I am saying is I have a history of not thinking of her needs and being selfish, couldn't my actions of distancing myself be misinterpreted?

This is where you slipped into tricky territory (glad you see how you got here, but the way out is often not so obvious, I am afraid): because you made some mistakes (and I think you are probably being too hard on yourself here because there's a good chance if you had a good verbal, sensible verbal warning that her needs were not being met, you might have straightened up. It takes two...), she is now telling you she wants out. Is that accurate?

But you don't want her to leave, right? So how is asking her not to leave thinking about what she now thinks she needs and not being selfish on your part? Very tricky territory. Been there myself.

Time to listen without trying to convince her (so long as there are reasonable boundaries) or change her mind when she speaks. Time to improve yourself in any way you can.

Also... standard affirmations like "I am sorry you feel that way", etc.