New here but have been a voyeur

[Truegritter]

What I need to explore in IC is how I let this happen...and happen for so long.

YES! This is what I was talking about way up thread when I was telling you to detach and work on YOU. When you do you will see how dysfuntional this all is and YOUR part in it. This is not all about H.

I feel like I am regaining my self worth after being put down for so long. I know all of this is so soon...but I think this R is serving a purpose for me. I haven't felt this happy in such a long time. There is life after divorce.

Yes there is and this is good. I really think you are making the right choice here for you . This M is toxic and you have had such courage to endure what you have endured so far.

Now you have to let the stages of loss happen and work through them and don't skip steps. Make sure you do the work so you don't carry this stuff forward.

I really think these boards are helpful with whatever stage you are in. Maybe time for a new thread?