Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Hi Daddylongshanks,

Yes, it was. Yes, I will talk to her today in about an hour. The M is not the main concern at the moment. It is about me and the kids. Primarily the kids.

She is not a federal worker. Her company has a federal credit union. I have already taken some actions you mention with very little results.

I am just so stressed out today. I am hurt, angry, and worried about having anything but joint custody of the kids. That is my biggest fear at the moment.

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

If anything you will feel better after talking to OMW.

Keep your nutrition up, drink lots of water and if you are not excersising make sure you do, even if its just walking. It will help your mood.

The division of assets is definately not a good direction for what you where trying to do, especially since she just did it without your knowledge.

Hey, you stay up. If she walks, there are plenty of women out there who want a dedicated man and don't want to get over on him.

[LSG]

Hey DaddyLongShanks,

I appreciate the support. I need all I can get right now.

I hope something will make feel better.

I feel so empty in sides except for the hurt and worry.

I guess I am worried more because I do not have a permanent job.

Thanks

[DaddyLongShanks]

Hey DaddyLongShanks,

I appreciate the support. I need all I can get right now.

I hope something will make feel better.

I feel so empty in sides except for the hurt and worry.

I guess I am worried more because I do not have a permanent job.

Thanks

The last time I was "abandoned", I threw myself into the gym and lost like 50lbs, got stronger on most excersises than I ever had been. I found out by doing cardio and weights, it releases endorphins ( which are underrated by the way ) which improve your mood. For me at the time, who was emotionally stripped to a bone, this was better than any drug I had done in my youth. Also making progress helped my mind and esteem to rebuild itself.

Taking the daily toll of the affair or mistreatment and using it to go do your workout lets you feel some sense of control over yourself, even while your situation with your wife will not allow it.

In these situations we are worried about the next sledgehammer thats going to come, so you wait, scared, pensive.

The affair bursting allowed you to issue some back, even if it doesn't stick you will feel better.

There is one situation where the wife said she knew and supported it, but that was the exception.

In most cases that wife is going to take the information and the OM will feel it in some way or another. He usually will be forced to choose on the spot, and alot of these guys drop off. Plus many are harrassed by the wife and her friends after this point, so continuing in the situation with your wife might not be in his best interest.

Anyway, you'll be fine either way. You have to continue to arm yourself with knowledge and do things that make you better. Plus you HAVE to have fun doing things you like to do.

Oh by the way, I have to do the same.

[Onthemountaintop]

Hey there LSG,

BTW - Thanks for the comment on my thread. It was helpful~

I was reading through your pages of pain. I hope today brings some closure, although I'm going to guess it may just open up some wounds.

If you want to answer them, I had some questions for you:

1. Could you make a list of all the reasons you want to divorce her?

2. What reasons do you think that she had/has for going to the OM?

3. If she came back to you in a month or two, would you want to forgive and accept her back or would you just consider it?

4. What things have you done so far to change (180s) the M environment?

5. What have you been doing to deal with the stress you must be feeling so you don't show it in body language, words, or actions?

I hope your meeting with OMW goes well. Hopefully together you can better understand what drew them together. Just be careful to not end off making it a revenge plan.

Have you thought about giving her a DB book for her to try? If her H goes back to her or is considering it, then your W will not be so drawn to him.

BTW - did you plan LSG to rhyme with LSD??? Amazing how love can be more powerful than drugs~

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

We are awaiting updates to the OMW meeting.

[LSG]

Hi Onthemountaintop,

I am glad you appreciated the comments. I did not want to come off as anything but helpful.

Today did not bring any closure. It certainly made the OMW along with her friend realize that the OMW does not want to live the way she has been. She wants to confront her husband without him denying the relationship. I could not provide copies of everything until I have discussed it with my attorney. I did forward her the telephone calls from her cell phone which is also in my name. I have to protect myself and my kids first, and I provide what I am able to give with hurting myself.

[LSG]

continued...

I will do that Monday. I am very overwhelmed by so much at the moment after meeting with her. I think she wants to do something at this moment. Her friend was sure mad about what the OM is doing.

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

Its good her friend was there, they might do the job for you. Wow, you know for a fact that guy is going to get harrassed by her friends know that the one knows. So you never know how its going to end up. What I'm counting on is she will confront him and she will prefer that the relationship with your wife ends.

Whats next?

[LSG]

continued...sorry!

I told her to start finding out what he is doing to protect herself and her family. She asked why I did not contact her sooner, and I told I was not sure I was going to.

1. Could you make a list of all the reasons you want to divorce her?
I do not want to divorce, but I am finding my options are becoming limited since she is depositing most of her pay to another account. I need to pay rent, bills, feed kids, laundry, gas, and whatever else comes up. We have been having a really difficult time without me working. I have been getting caught up some, and I have my pay from my temporary position to catch up further.