He's depressed. Has been for several months. I've seen him go through this before. At least this time he's talking about seeing a doctor and talking about doing things to make himself better.
He explained that he does not have it in himself to be there for me right now because he is not there for himself. This put things in perspective for me, and I'm not feeling such anger and resentment. All he had to do was acknowledge my feelings (hmmm, that wasn't too hard, now was it)
I know I can't make him do anything, and it's useless to try. I resolved to be supportive (be the strong one for a while) and not bombard him with my needs. I have encouraged him to see a doctor and help make it easier for him to get there by offering to make appointments etc. but without nagging.
He can't be bothered with my needs.
This is a temporary situation. I'm giving it six months. If in that time he has not shown any improvement or effort to take care of himself, I am fully prepared to cut my losses and get on with life.
I'm not expecting everything to be fixed by then, just some progress.
In the meantime, I'll be loving and helpful, while at the same time very clear that I can't and won't stay in this situation status quo.
