I've been thinking of my W as a caged zoo animal. She's an animal that wants to be out in the world, and find out and be who she is. Living with me, she perceives that she lives in a cage. I think about what Naej wrote, about my wanting her to be home for me, but not changing in the ways needed to keep her home.
In Mars @ Venus, John Gray talks about how couples treat the other as an extension of themselves, versus who they are and what they need. I don't think I'm exactly the Mars type, as I need to add more masculine behaviors to my feminine strengths. I think I need to educate myself on how to be in a relationship with a woman, because I'm still not passing that class.
I can and hopefully will set limits if she crosses boundaries again, but I still need to work on my end of things.
I also keep thinking about how this is Tough Grace, in that I need to not let myself react to negative emotions. In the The Third Jesus by Deepak Chopra, he quotes from the Gospels, "...love your enemies and those who persecute you." My capacity to hold onto love will serve as the foundation for moving forward, versus letting the situation crash and burn because I didn't have the courage and willingness to put in the effort to change and grow.
I don't want to end a M as a coward.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
