"I really love your characterization of boundaries as "geeIwishyouwouldn'ts.""

To clarify, Puppy's point was that boundaries ARE NOT "geeIwishyouwouldn'ts."

So, did you ever read PM?

Regarding waiting -- clear boundary setting definitely benefits from getting to a peaceful, clear place in your own head first.

Flailing about with ultimatums posing as boundaries to try to fix things/control W won't get you anywhere.

So, it is fine to take the time and space you need to develop boundaries, but not fine to avoid the project :-)

Best,
Oldtimer