Thanks! That did help. I am getting MUCH better at just walking away before I engage her in a bad R talk. I know I alluded to not doing well with that but I have decided that one boundary I have that I am able to enforce is that I will not just stand there and be berated, nor will I berate her. While I have slipped (hence mini-blow-ups), I do usually force myself to walk away before things escalate.
I will do my best to stop nibbling. I really love your characterization of boundaries as "geeIwishyouwouldn'ts."
I am not too sure that's a universally accepted definition but it's one I like and that may help me start to embrace them more. I get so hung up on the reactions and less on the setting and such. I will work on the "short list" when I get time.
