Making yourself the hottest man she can get doesn't mean she's going to get you ... she has to come to you. Getting near enough to make her hot for you and reach out to you is great, I think, but you need watch for signs. If she seems flooded/overwhelmed, back off and keep working on yourself.
I am already committed to making myself better. I know that if she leaves today I would have to find a very special person to want to date an overweight person. So with or without her I need to be thin. Besides, that is what I want for me, I HATE being overweight.
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
Always keep making yourself the man you want to have been. She won't believe your changes are permanent until they've lasted for a while, so don't lose hope/prayer.
I know, patience I am still working on
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
Tips for losing weight found on Mens' Health: - exercise before eating for at least 2 min. Revs up the metabolism - exercise for at least 2 min when you wake up - try to lift a couple weights at home every few days for a few minutes at least (20-40lbs?)
Great tips. I have already started working on some of these. I got a little reved up and tried to do too much which hurt my knee which has slowed me down, but I am not going to quit!!!
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
RE intimacy, who knows. I think back to the comment about other men. Why would she tell you that all horny like unless she was hinting at what she wants you to become more like. It could also be MLC or who knows, so be patient.
I am still leaning toward a MLC. She wants to be free to do things and have no responabilities. She wants a motorcycle and never has before. Just wants different things all of a sudden. Or she always wanted these things and repressed her feeligns like she did with so many other things. I even saw on her Facebook one time that she said she was a single woman in a married persons body. I did not take that well. She changed the page but not her feelings.
I got a list of MC and am going to approach her after she gets back from a gradustion party on her familys side in another state. She gets back Saturday, I will ask her about it on Sunday night. I hope this helps her get through some of her problems. I have really gotten through a lot of mine in IC. Only time will tell. I am just nervous that this will backfire and make things worse. I guess that is a theme for me. Which I guess points out another 180. Stop settling for the status quo because things are OK. Especially since it may not be.
I wonder if how you present the MC makes the biggest difference. Be ready for a no, though, as well as a yes...stay positive either way even if you're not happy.
I was thinking about that comment about her being single in a married persons' body. What can you do to give her that single lifestyle while making your connection stronger? Can you be more of an awesome boyfriend to her instead of the responsible husband? Would that kind of lifestyle make you happy?
SMM23, sorry to hear about your situation, I have a similar story. I am really new to this page but it is encouraging to hear that others are surviving in similar situations. I too find it really hard to be bold in fear that it will make things worse. Tough place to be. I hope things go well when she gets back in town.
Also a fellow soccer player recovering from a knee injury. Good to hear your back on the pitch!
I wonder if how you present the MC makes the biggest difference. Be ready for a no, though, as well as a yes...stay positive either way even if you're not happy.
This will be tough if she says no, but I will do my best.
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
I was thinking about that comment about her being single in a married persons' body. What can you do to give her that single lifestyle while making your connection stronger? Can you be more of an awesome boyfriend to her instead of the responsible husband? Would that kind of lifestyle make you happy?
I am willing to act as if we are dating again. Will be somewhat difficult with our son, but maybe that would incite some excitement on her part. Like I said, willing to try just about anythnig ant this point as long as it does not push her away. I like the way we interact right now, just would like to get closer and I do not have a lot of patience.
Originally Posted By: Onthemountaintop
Maybe talk about her comment with your IC?
I did once and IC did not shed any light on that situation.
SMM23, sorry to hear about your situation, I have a similar story. I am really new to this page but it is encouraging to hear that others are surviving in similar situations. I too find it really hard to be bold in fear that it will make things worse. Tough place to be. I hope things go well when she gets back in town.
Also a fellow soccer player recovering from a knee injury. Good to hear your back on the pitch!
Good to hear from you! yeah, it has been tough being strong and confident when you get shut down. Been having problems witha support structure as well. Right now this site has been my support structure. During my depression I pushed all of my friends away. Not to mention I was not really that close to anyone. My family have all but stopped talking to me because they do not know what to say.
As for soccer, I love it. Very intelectual game and good workout and keeps my mind off R. Stop in again. Thanks for all the great comments and ideas. Thank you to everybody who has responded, it has really helped!!!
I know how you feel, this board is and has been my only means of talking about what's going on. Everyone I work with is seemingly happily married and they all know my W. I struggle so much keeping it all together and peforming well at work. I am trying not to retreat from everyone but given how easily I can become depressed, it's difficult.
I am going to GAL alittle this Sunday and go to the pub to watch my team play in England. Excited for that!
Ok so it was a good weekend. W went away for Fri and Sat. I went out with an old friend of mine. Has been around for 15+ years that me and W have been together. So we had a long (6 hr) talk about what was going on. His W is has been friends with my W since they were 5 years old and friends with me since W and I got together. So they have a lot of knowledge and a fresh perspective on what was going on. The consensus is that my W just does not want to grow up. She wants to have no responsibility and be "free" to do as she pleases. Therefore, she sees our marriage and S as weighing her down. She keeps telling me that she does not like coming home to the house, even if she knows I will not be there. This is because she sees the responsibility of taking care of the house and what it represents(marriage and family that she has responsibility in) It does not help that a bunch of her friends are either divorced or getting divorced and telling her how free they feel now. So the question of the day is how do I deal with the fact that she wants to be 4 years old and no responsibilities. I can confirm that she has even told me that is how she feels, she said this years ago, I just thought it was a phase. Anybody have any idea what to do now?
Also, while she was away, I did not call of text or anything. I was really good about that 180. I just enjoyed teh peace and quiet (until I went to the bars) She did call Friday afternoon and night. Then again Saturday afternoon. To me that is a good sign, what do you guys think. Also, what do you think about the last entry of mine?
So I gave her some time and space tonight by picking up S and going to dinner with parents. I have not heard from her since 5 PM and it is now 10PM. Our S will not go to bed without her. Text and phone call not answered. My mind is now wandering and all kinds of possabilities are going through my mind. All I can say is that if I waited this long for physical attention and she is out getting it somewhere else it will not be pretty.
