It sounds like your divorcing spouse has a lawyer who's willing to push and needle to get every potential ounce of blood from a stone.
I know a fantastic lawyer who I would have used if the lawyer wasn't acquainted with both the former spouse and me. He's brilliant and knows how to drive the opposing lawyer crazy to where they'd rather accede than deal with him. And you follow his advice because he's always right.
Let me know if you want more info.. either here or on FB... look up Kathleen Gyp Sy. He will get you the best outcome as ethically, intelligently and adroitly possible. I really wished he could have been my attorney!
There's a lot to be said for letting go.. especially when everything looks hopeless. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same outcome." "Successful people work smarter."
Changing lawyers is allowed. Interview some. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and Super Lawyers are both good places to look. Interestingly enough, my friend is not on either list! However, my lawyer and the former spouse's are. His lawyer (who is on both the AAML and Super Lawyers) was exorbitantly expensive. Most people see him and tell their clients to close it up as quickly as possible (or else they lose their marital asset shirts).
Hope it helps. Divorce changes everything. Kids don't live in the same house without the parent going broke. With a long term marriage (20 plus years) lifetime alimony is possible.. but it should also reflect existing income. At the divorce, you can stipulate whether or not you'd want alimony from her if your situation changes in the future.
And when the former spouse switched from a reasonable lawyer to his super duper expensive deplete all the assets lawyer, I went through almost two huge mega boxes of printing paper to provide what he needed (by that time I was making three copies.. one for me, my lawyer and his to minimize costs on my end).
Connecticut divorce is based on equitable, not equal, division of assets. I did not get an equal division.. even though he was the one to traipse off, abandon the kids and nearly bankrupt us. Because of his salary, he fell into the 'equitable' division. Which is (at least for a stay at home mom of 20+ years) 30% of his income, 10% for our minor child. I did not go to trial because he was willing (or seemed totally committed) to lose his shirt to 'tell his story' on why I should get less.
I'm rambling. To know your options, interview a few highly recommended lawyers. And all the lawyers know each other, work together and against each other based on the case. Most are friends with each other. Ask their input on the proposed settlement, how they would handle your case, what the expected outcome would be, and their assessment of both your existing lawyer and hers.
This experience is invaluable.
*hugs*
Hey.. if you want to relax see "Sound of Music" at the Shelton High School this weekend. Most people say it's so good that they forget it's an amateur production. You would not believe the sets, costumes, orchestra.. and of course the cast. You could even see my daughter in one of the speaking roles! And I'm STILL being unbiased!
And here's a few more *hugshugshugs* for if and when you need them.
