At any rate, went to party yesterday, and had a good time. Something did happen that had me thinking and thinking down on myself. Woman there that I was immediately attracted to, but over the course of the night, she was immediately attracted to and left with someone else..
That bugs me, and then it bugs me that it bugs me, capiche? I am OK now, just at times you wonder what it is that makes attraction between people, and why the heck I can't seem to make it work for me???
Change your prespective about what this 'really' is...it's a scratch...that's all. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game...just like you did when you were younger and playing hard, with friends, at sports, or whatever!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Change your prespective about what this 'really' is...it's a scratch.
True enough! And I think my post was a little harsher on myself than intended, I was fine with it, it just pointed out something along my path, internally for me to work on.
In analyzing this a bit internally, rather than stay in the present moment, and enjoy my time with this woman, with no expectation, I seemed to be thinking ahead to hoping that something would come out of it. Kind of setting yourself up a bit for a let down.
And in hoping something would come out of it, you wind up limiting you present moment interactions. A bit of the 'Nice Guy' syndrome if that makes sense.
Take care, my friend hope all is well with you!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I don't know your sitch iwitw...but replying wise my rule is if she asks a question I'll answer it very briefly, if it's a statement then no reply needed.
For example, in this case I'd say "Car's being fixed, I'm fine, tell d9 I love her and not to worry- thanks"
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I may have used your type of response, had I been still trying to bust this D, but that's not the case.
And I also know her response to me was more in a "Friend" manner, or how should would approach the same thing with one of her sons, not in a 'spously' way. Heh, 'spously' I think I like that word, reminds me of the Jetson's..
'Spously Sprockets'!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
"Dilemma ("double proposition") is a problem offering at least two solutions or possibilities, of which none are practically acceptable."
I have one with the Ms. Adversary, and looking for advice. I have sent off to my L, so will probably wait for his reply, but want to run it by you all for thoughts..
Background: d9 goes to private school, where Ms. Adversary actually works as well, and this year she had free tuition because of the hours that she worked.
I received request to sign up for automated tuition this coming year from the school, so asked Ms. Adversary what was up with that.
Her Response: "I have to drop my afternoon hours next year so there will be a payment, not sure how much yet. Most if it is covered by my job. I am planning on attending college next fall and need time for classes."
My tentative response that I am running by L: "Ms. Adversary
There are two ways this can be handled. 1- As the custodial parent, it is your responsibility to sign up for these payments, to be made from the support that you already receive from me. 2- I will sign up for the payments, and will then seek to reduce my support amount to you by the payment amount for d9's tuition.
Let me know which way you want to proceed."
I don't know the legality behind this. I do not like that she is reducing her hours to go to college, and I know she expects me to increase support for this while she does, so who knows what the court will look at that as..
Anyone got ideas?
I am trying not to let this ruin my day, as it is a ways in the future, and I am trying to stay in the present...
Last edited by iwantittowork; 04/30/1001:23 PM.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
