Depressed H wants to walk

[Forrest Gump]

"right now I feel like a sham because I don't have it together in my own family. "

Kinda like the mechanic that fixes everybody's car.. and drives a piece of crap.. that barely runs?

"I work with troubled teens and their families. People tell me every day that I am a blessing to them."

"He suggests something he thinks I will disagree with, I actually take his side and offer another reason his idea is a good one. No, it doesn't always have to be my way! I have been doing this for several weeks now and no, the sky has not fallen."

Hmm.. Too much of a good thing can be bad. I say that a lot. Your job has tasked you with "fixing" things. Most likely that has carried over into your M. You have all the signs that that has happened. Your H has depression issues.. and you have "saved" him before. You like to be in control.. because that is what you "do". Part of me thinks you need to draw a line between work and home. Me.. I am the type of person that leaves work and does not think about it until I get back in the morning. Every once in a while I will have to "yell" at the wife about something that happened at work.. but most of the time I just really don't have anything to say about it. My wife took this as I did not care about her cause I never wanted to talk about work. She had all kinds of things to talk about.. my conversation was "It was work". Once I was clear that it was not a reflection of what I thought about her.. that it was simply something I turned off when I left work.. she understood better. They don't pay me for more than 40 hours.

"it won't come naturally to even know what my needs are which is probably why #3 (be myself) is so overwhelming to me."

You have forgotten the power of YOU. This is normal. So.. as a suggestion here are some tasks.

#1.. I want you to find a poster or two (no more than 2) here in Newcomers that you "see" a connection with. I want you to be sure that you can offer some guidance. I don't want you supporting what they are doing. I don't want you complimenting them on how well they are doing. I want you to find someone you can help. You will know it when you find it. I will be following along behind you.. or looking over your shoulder. Just let me know when you find one.. you don't have to link it or anything. I may or may not post.. but be assured I will read it all. This has many elements to it for me. It gets you reading.. it gets you involved.. hopefully when you find the right post.. it will put you in "someone" else's shoes.

#2.. 6 smiles. Instead of 6 hugs a day like the book you read.. I want you to generate 6 smiles a day from "someone". It does not have to be your H. There is no more benefit to getting them from you H than getting them from a "random" person. You have to make sure you.. generate the smile from them. Tips.. When talking to "someone" smile yourself. Sometimes people respond to Physical touch.. a gentle touch on the back of the arm.. top of the hand. You get the idea. The more "random" the person.. the better it will be. Wake up ready to make 6 people smile everyday. I mean.. it is only 6 people. I can get 6 people to smile a day easy.. but I am awesome! (did you smile?)

That is all I have right now.. but I will be back. Lemme know what ya think about my silly tasks!