Plus the idiot made it out to be the kids issue because they won't got to bed on time. Yep in his mind he is perfect and everyone else just needs to get on board his boat! He needs a huge a$$kicking. I don't know any really big guys...do you??
Let the kids know that this had nothing to do with them. They certainly don't need that burden.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You mentioned a big check he has to write on June 1. I GUARANTEE he will NOT write that check on June 1. His best cow will die, take a business trip to teh north pole, have people in from outer space, feel to sad to write it, etc etc etc....
If you are counting on that $$ write away and need it quicker than say 6-8 months from now I suggest you start getting prepared NOW to take action June 1, not wait until it is already to late.
Dan does what Dan wants. It is like a friend said abut my XW "there is federal law, state law, and XW law" Dan thinks he can do whatever he wants to you b/c by and large he has been able to up until now.
Start standing up for yourself to him, be ready to nail his a** to the wall on June 2 when he does not have everything ready for you (and he won't) and that is how you will start to get back what he has tried to take from you over the years (IMHO)
Hope that helps or at least gives you a perspective to think about
H: 30 W: 31 S: 2 T/M: 6/4 D Final 4-5-10
Bomb: June 09 Status: D'd and moving onward and upward?
I love you guys so much! So many positive words for me, I really appreciate it. I esp enjoyed Jeff--he saw the bus coming!
There is a weight that has been lifted from letting the kids know. Even though I despise the way the message was delivered, it got delivered and that part is over. I can handle loving the kids through this, I will be their rock and their safe place...
John, if you seriously think I was not supportive of him I will come to Canada and kick your @ss!
Kalni, you are right it doesn't matter anymore but 90% of his messed up perceptions are because of his mom and dad's disfunction. His mom has always henpecked and complained about his dad, put down his attempts at farming bc they were left 'poor' while he played around at being farmer, etc. His dad always yelled when pushed too far and then his mom cried. He cannot stand conflict between us bc as a kid he says he was traumatized seeing his mom and dad fight, with dad yelling and mom crying. So his divorcing over that is his way of 'saving' Nathan from living as he did with parents always fighting. Guess he hasn't heard about that third option where the parents learn to handle conflict maturely and model THAT for their kids....So anyway his hatred/resentment of women starts with MIL and since she is firmly ensconced that won't go away any time soon.
Funny he already called this morning, I answered since he has the kids I was concerned after last nights talk...he just wanted me to know he was letting Sydney sleep in this morning since they had a late night--he had to wake them up twice and take them to the basement. And I needed to know this why?
Onto sunnier topics!
I met with the two bobs this morning--seriously you guys missed the Office Space reference? I am taking away a piece of your flair :)--and I have more than one job for next year! I will be doing ELL, taking over part of the outgoing K-2 Special Ed teacher's caseload, and if the grant goes through, teaching a 2hr preschool cooperative with the local YMCA. Yay me for staying gainfully employed!
And best of all today is pedicure day...Sydney has told the entire school (she comes here 2 days a week for preschool) that we are getting mommy-daughter pedicures...she is doing a pink/purple pattern whereas I am leaning toward a coral/flamingo color...
Yeah that storm system really seemed to clear the air around me...
You mentioned a big check he has to write on June 1. I GUARANTEE he will NOT write that check on June 1. His best cow will die, take a business trip to teh north pole, have people in from outer space, feel to sad to write it, etc etc etc....
If you are counting on that $$ write away and need it quicker than say 6-8 months from now I suggest you start getting prepared NOW to take action June 1, not wait until it is already to late.
Dan does what Dan wants. It is like a friend said abut my XW "there is federal law, state law, and XW law" Dan thinks he can do whatever he wants to you b/c by and large he has been able to up until now.
Start standing up for yourself to him, be ready to nail his a** to the wall on June 2 when he does not have everything ready for you (and he won't) and that is how you will start to get back what he has tried to take from you over the years (IMHO)
Hope that helps or at least gives you a perspective to think about
Well aware Buffet...it was originally due May 1 as stated in the decree. I gave him a one month extension bc he cannot dip into the 401K except during certain windows which he showed me the form...however I cannot refinance the house in my name until I have that money. So I will take swift action in June if he doesn't come through. May have to have a cattle operations liquidation sale...not my problem. Oh and although most of the money is for my house and a cushion in savings for the kids and I, I will try to put a small bit aside for a trip to see my Cardinals in the playoffs....
It pisses me off because he already put it on the kids when he brought up the bedtimes. The kids could feel bad now for wanting to stay up during the marriage.
It pisses me off because he already put it on the kids when he brought up the bedtimes. The kids could feel bad now for wanting to stay up during the marriage.
I hate him!!
Yeah for the record the three nights he has had them this week they were never in bed before 9:30 and his house is a mess. But we already knew he was full of it didn't we??
Deep cleansing breath, Kimmie! Although I appreciate you getting mad for me...
you can explain the truth to them as time goes on..Nathan is a smart kid so I know he will have more questions.
Sounds like the job sitch is now more solid...
I admire teachers..Michele just got teacher of the year yesterday after 17 years...much deserved...
hang in there girl...I would offer insults but you kn ow how I've always felt about the sitch..
Thanks Mike. Congrats to Michelle on teacher of the year! That is awesome...
I am hanging in better than I thought possible...last night I was so upset and this morning I am freakin' serene, how does that happen? The job news didn't hurt I'm sure...
I don't need insults, although I love ya Kimmie for saying what I am thinking! But we all know at this point who he is...
Free at last, free at last...this bird is gonna start flying again, I just know it...starting with girl time and pedicures...
Well, I just started reading your sitch but I think you are way better off to be rid of him. Of course he's going to skew it when he tells the kids. Can't take any responsibility for problems. That is kind of why I was glad that I told mine alone after all was said and done.
Also, I would just talk to the kids when the times come up that present little teachable moments and let them know about relationships and how they are supposed to work.
Maybe when you meet someone great then they will get to see how it is really supposed to work. That is what happened with my kids. My S9 was old enough to know that his dad's and my relationship was NOT good. Even my d4 has started picking up on the truth about how her father is. He has shown them through his messed up actions and not being there for them.
My kids have so much fun with me and my bf and it is such a pleasant environment as opposed to what they WERE used to before. Your kids will see it in time, but I would take the chances to talk to them when they come up. No, don't tell them their father was a cheater, but he will probably show that in time to them as well. The truth comes out.
I teach 4th grade in a large Title I school around Dallas. Congrats on the job thing! I just found out I'm being moved to 5th next year (which has been out of control for the past several years!!!) so I'm trying to digest that.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
