What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

[newmama]

I love the discussion- I have said it before and will say it again. Seriously, WE can not do much to end the affair. All we can do is try to make the affair more difficult for them to maintain. I seriously 100% believe that the WS is the only one who decides to end the A (or the OP might dump them) and R or not. (well the betrayed spouse can choose to R or not as well)

But I quoted Puppy because the point was that if you invest a lot of time trying to determine if the WS is responding to your DBing efforts while he is in an A then you will be misled.

Ok an advantage to not giving a crap if there is an A and not "being obsessive" about implementing specific strategies and monitoring results is that if you don't care, you are detached.
They figure out their own issues while you GAL and focus on yourself.

The downside (check out Piano's quote from RobX in her thread) is that if you aren't making improvements in the areas where there were marital complaints pre-affair or self improvements that you need to make, then there is a chance that when the WAS finally gets his head out of his a$$ and gets serious about whether he wants to R, it might look kind of dismal to him to look at your old relationship. If you make improvements, though, it shows promise and potential for a better relationship.

Here is the super sucky part of all this- you are pregnant and occupied with preparations for the baby, so how in the world are you also to start working on areas that need improvement? I ran into this issue which is a lot of the reasonwhy I didn't start DBing until S was 3 months old. Oh- I did start cleaning more when I was pregnant though. But the other improvements came later.