1. Oprah's not a family therapist 2. Oprah's not a reputation to uphold - if people go on her show and get attacked no one wants to be on there anymore 3. Oprah's made comments supporting infidelity before I had read someplace.. I think it was Penny Tuppy's site that said it 4. Oprah's only got one hour to run a show, even if she did have the maturity and the talent to dig deeper, she hasn't the time to air it
Check out Dr Phil's show on Oct 28 - 29 2009. He did a two hour show of an affair intervention... I put a clip of it up on youtube and there are a couple others from the same show - not the whole two hours, but some good stuff
I love dr phil, he's an an affair-bustin hardliner
If anyone has the whole two hours saved on file let me know!
My dvr just dumped it! Wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. I remember getting uber irritated with the stupidity of that woman and her verbal dodging, and twisting of her family into her victimhood. Just like Hunter did today. Can most see thru that? Is it just us b/c we have experienced it firsthand? I see a complete disconnect of logic, as I did w/ my H.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
The whole show isn't on there.. its just the outline... I already hit that.
I just wanted a copy of the whole two hour intervention... ah well.. it's not that important or I would have paid the $20 or so for it that he charges for tapes of his show lol
It's either not that important to me, or I really am that cheap. lol
I'm sure it'll get rerun over the summer if not sooner.
I softballed too. Didn't work. BUT... I am glad I used some of the time to do away with H's demonization of me and the kids. I blasted away at his justifications/rationalizations until he stopped blaming us and started to look within himself. Because of that, I stopped hearing threats to cut us off, he's through w/us, etc. I think if I'd of gone dark immediately his attachment to me would have buried too deep to activate with darkness. Who knows.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
The best argument I have come up with so far for using softball first is similar to what you are alluding here...
Leave your partner with the best impression possible of you before you go to protection phase...
Exit emotional connection emanating warmth and respect.
You need softball for this... but I don't advocate it for more than a month or so...
More than three months of softball and most people are ready to slit their wrists...
In THIS manner, softball is a useful tactic, but I don't have confidence that it will do much damage to the affair itself... never seen that happen yet
Phil McGraw was more than willing to talk relationship talk with this woman who he caught lying to him more than once. He hit her hard and fast with everything he had... and i do believe he made some impact.
If he tried that alone with her I honestly don't think it would have worked.. having her husband and daughters there made a huge diff I think...
I can't imagine doing it for long...or at least well. But after a messy confrontation, it will provide a path back.(I do NOT mean pursual...I mean 180 and other DB techniques) Since I went dark, I hear "I miss you" and "It's hard to be away from you". Time will tug on the 24 year attachment.
Exposure did the most damage, but not enough for me.
I remember during exposure, H asked me what I was doing. "It is nobody else's business," I replied, very calmly, " I am fighting for my M. If you were drinking or on heroin, I would do the same thing." He couldn't respond to that.
"Phil McGraw was more than willing to talk relationship talk with this woman who he caught lying to him more than once. He hit her hard and fast with everything he had... and i do believe he made some impact.
If he tried that alone with her I honestly don't think it would have worked.. having her husband and daughters there made a huge diff I think..."
And the audience helped too. I think she has herself believing her own pile, is in such deep denial, rationalization, justification, it will take daily confrontations like that to get thru to her, WHILE being completely cut off from her family. I hope he does a follow-up.
Leno was really funny, makin' fun of Hunter tonite....
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
