Well things continue to move forward. H continues to make very positive efforts... being attentive, open, loving, communicating more etc.
But... he is still depressed and pretty severely so IMO. He is continuing IC and has just started EMDR. He also finally started seeing a Dr. So hopefully things get better on that end.
The thing that is still hard for me is that he continues to say he "feels nothing" for me. He says he thinks it is due to the depression. I continue to be told by some of you wise and wonderful folks that this is BS and his actions show he does love me. I hope that is true, b/c his words don't. He just keeps telling me "I hope I can heal from this and start to feel something." Great. I hope so too. Or this won't work. I can be patient for a while but not forever.
The other thing I am "observing" about my own journey through this, is that although the emotional pain is not being felt as frequently as before, it is just as intense when it is there. I find it interesting that it hasn't lessened... at all. When it pops up or gets triggered, it is just as intense. When the waves hit, they are still so strong I can't breathe sometimes. But, at least they are not as frequent. And, I can now go a few days without tears. Woohoo! This is progress.
And... for the most part, my PMA is there. I am feeling so much better about myself, so much stronger as a person, so much clearer about my needs and wants and boundaries.
I know I am going to be more than OK, no matter what. And that, is what it is all about.
