Question

[awest1217]

Still not doing well. I feel better when I am busy, but I know I am going to crash when I get home because I am super busy at work. I usually have about 10 minutes at the end of each class where the students begin to work on their assignment and I can unwind before the next class. Not today or really the rest of this week and next because it is just jammed pack with practice and notes and maybe 1 minute to begin an assignment.

I am tired, dizzy, and just feeling blah. I feel warm, but only low grade fevers (99.5) so nothing major. I did find out what has been making S so sick...MOLD! I was cleaning the dehumidifier as normal and noticed that the fan where the motor is has tons of mold that was sending out spores. Complete reason for S being sick. I tried to clean it, but the mold is places I can't get to and have no idea how it got there in the first place so i am going to buy a new one. We didn't use it last night and S woke up this morning doing great!

Glad I figured that out, but now I just need to get myself better.

[awest1217]

sorry it was his humidifier.

[Lucky11too]

When you don't want chocolate, that is bad!!! Glad you were able to find out what was going on with S, but now it's time to take care of yourself!

[ClingingToHope]

Something serious is going around. I've been sick for 10 days.

[Kalni]

Stress is getting to you. Remember, your 1st priority is yourself. As they say on planes, first put the mask on you and then help/put it on your kids... Essential...
Hugs
K

[awest1217]

Thanks! I am actually staying home tonight from church to rest since I have such a busy weekend. S of course is feeling better so he wants to play. I just play with him while sitting down so I can relax. I am off to take a long bath, put S to bed early, and then just relax and probably go to sleep early.

It is mostly flu like symptoms, and the stress is probably finally catching up with me. I am finally not stressed so my immune system is low and needs a chance to revamp since I killed it with a year of non-stop stress. I have put on some weight so that is a good thing, and showing that I am not as stressed. I don't look sickly anymore. Now once I feel i have more strength, I need to get out and bike with S to start and build muscle and a good health. I eat well, I just need to exercise more than just chasing S everywhere which is a lot of exercise, but biking at least once a week will be fun for both of us.

[ClingingToHope]

I read something where when you are really stressed you don't get sick because your body is actually geared up to fight off the threat.

It's when the stress lessens and your body relaxes that your immune system lets down.

I just think it's a spring thing.

[awest1217]

For me, it is definitely the stress because when I was in college, every year in December once finals were over, I would get sick. Since I have gotten my job, I really haven't gotten sick. An occasional cold, but usually that is it. I am finally relaxed and my stress is lessened dramatically. I just know my routine and have my new life. If H does make an appearance, I am so used to him popping in and out, but never staying that it doesn't bother me anymore (pretty sad when you expect H to always be unreliable). Now that I am relaxed, I need to build back up my immune system and health. This summer I will try to get a good "exercise" routine going. It will not be exercise like going to the gym, but things S and I can do together.

This weekend...I have the resale tonight and tomorrow morning then a parade with my grandma. Then back to the resale. Sunday I have to sing at church and have a graduation party to go to for H's cousin. She invited me so I am going to go, but it will be strange to see how everyone reacts to me without H being around...

[Lucky11too]

Haha, I think it's funny that we both have graduation party's today for our H's cousins. I hope it goes well for you and that it's not too ackward and that you are feeling better.

I think that's a great goal to work on exercising more with S. I got one of those little bike trailers for kids, so I'm hoping to get that figured out and try to get out more too. It always seems like other things get in the way, but I think's it really great physically and mentally just to get out like that sometimes.

[awest1217]

I just got a text from my SIL's sister (we are all really close) that H was seen by her ex-boyfriend with OW. I don't care too much, but it lets me know that there hasn't been one ounce of change with him at all.

Also on the way home, I got this gut wrenching feeling that H is going to bring OW with him to the party. I don't know why, but I just feel like something bad is about to happen. I got the feeling before I got the text so that just made me feel like it was going to happen even more. They started making plans to get an apartment together this time last year so they might have an anniversary right now. Who knows, but one good thing is that I know without snooping that H is still with OW.

Funny because H always said he can't get away from me knowing everything about him, and it is true. The guy who wanted to make sure I knew barely knows me. He loves S to death though and would treat him like a nephew when SIL's sister and he were around. It is good to know so I know I am not giving up when he is actually trying. The only thing I am having a hard time with is the financial stuff and S. When I look at what people are saying on CTH's site about D and how it ruins everyone financially, especially women, I am just heartbroken because I am doing well right now. Also I can't imagine giving S to H every other weekend plus one evening a week. He only sees him now once every two weeks and that is because his family invites us over. He NEVER asks to see him. He asked yesterday about hanging out after the party, but he didn't know that the party wasn't until 5:30 so by the time we leave it will be a little late, and he asked to hang out not to see S. He also never asks about S. He always asks about my day.

So those are my only hang-ups, but once school is out and I talk to a lawyer, I can figure out what I can get. Even if it is just every other weekend, that is still more than he sees him now. We will see what the party holds.