Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

[james217]

Got 2 texts from WAW. She is visiting SD8 with paternal grandmother over 100 miles away and will be back this weekend.

*head explodes*

I understand she wants to see SD8. I want to as well. but why sign away the freaking rights and then keep hopping on greyhound for visits instead of going to I.C. getting your antidepressants and not applying for jobs or following up with the ones you did apply for.

She has totally lost it.

You ask for me to do your hair for jobs then you go out of town?

She's not gonna make it. I hate to admit it but she's not. SHe's going to have to hit total rock bottom and end up in a shelter before she realizes she's going about this the wrong way.

I understand you wanting to come here and vent, go ahead but even that after a while that (the venting) will have to stop.

You have to realize you are venting about things that are not in your control.

You are frustrated because IF you were HER, you would do things differently but YOU aren't HER. You can't control what she does and you have to stop using your logic with regards to your WAW, you have to stop worrying about what she does and you have to allow yourself peace in your life and you will achieve that when you finally listen to what we're saying and let go of the need to control her life and what she does with it.

You are right, she will only realize the full impact of her decisions when she hits rock bottom, much like you did. It's called hitting "threshold" and you can't control when you hit that point, that solid bottom that won't let you go any further down because that is rock bottom. At that point, you'll either stay there for the rest of your life or you'll finally realize that your life is worth more than the sum of your current experiences and you'll start to do things to enable you to rise above your problems and get back to standing squarely on both feet again with your shoulders held high, you'll start to feel good about yourself (and you still don't, trust me, you're not there yet), you'll start to respect yourself, you will smile at pretty much everything and you'll ask yourself how you could waste so much time feeling like $hit everyday when you could have been feeling like this. Your confidence and self-esteem will raise up to a respectable level.

I can give you all the advice in the world but if you're not going to put some of it to use, you will continue drowning in a sea of several hundred pages on your thread.

I hope you realize and respect and thank CG for the effort she puts into your thread/situation, you have the invaluable perspective of a woman, something the guys can't provide you with. Listen to her!

and i'd really hate to see her hit rock bottom man. I have seen her be so giving and loving and helping of others. But she's not fighting anymore. How can you just be "content" with a situation like this?

Yea I see what you're saying about her way and my way of doing things but she never did crap like this. I'm just shaking my head.

Yes C.g. is really great.

I think I'm going to start venting in a journal and just posting minimal stuff about WAW it's going to be hard.

But i'm going to try. It's just hard not to try to get advice on how not to screw up.

It's not so much as control. It's concern. I have seen this woman fall out in the street and have seizures. At college at home. It scared the crap out of me.

I think it's only a matter of time with it beginning to happen again the way she's going erasing all of the progres it took to keep her seizure free since august. that's been the longest stretch in like 3 years.

Alot of the things she's doing now? she di before she left. If she wanted to go see her family? fine no problem. Go visit sd8? fine no problem. Buy a few nice things fine no problem.

But I'd budget too and make sure things went all helter skelter.

That's the hardest thing to let go of. She's extremely naive and gullible and needs to go to ic and get the antidepressant.

I don't even bring it up anymore. at leat not to her. I talked to her about it saturday. She said she'd go. Still no progress.

She treats and has always treated SD8 like her friend instead of her child. Instead of explaining to SD8 what needs to happen SD8 is cake eating too.

She loves being with paternal grandmother because she is spoiled rotten. That's why she did not want to "come home" and then paternal gradmother said all this bullshyt about adopting and military children receiving free college ( a total lie my dad's entire family is military and so is he and I did NOT get a free ride to college) and she signed away the rights mainly because it's what SD8 wants and she wants SD8 to be happy because WAW feels like she's a bad mother because she would NOT freaking listen to me and signed this document giving temporary custody of SD8 to the state.

uggghh man. *slams fist on computer*

i'm still venting. can't u tell?