Yeah that's why I didn't do it I don't want to go through his family...she said if it were her she would tell him he can't have access to the kids until he shows he can control his emotions....
You should be able to forward each text to your email.
It is a royal PITA but that is the only way I have been able to figure out to keep them. I wish the phone company would offer that as a service (paid of course RME) a print out of texts, I mean.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
The fact is that he's f'd up and it is not BBJ's job to try to fix him.
And some people ARE @ssholes. We just like to fool ourselves into thinking they're sick so that we don't have to realize that they DON'T WANT us anymore.
I think the "I really don't like you...I really don't like me...but I really don't like you" made it pretty clear how he feels about me Kimmie! That plus the "You can hate me for doing this to the kids as I hate you for the same"...
Regardless I do hope he finds a way to pull it together so he can be a present, engaged dad eventually.
I hope so too, but it likely will not happen. Forward, forward, being the best Mom you can be. You already ARE an AWESOME mom.
And I have no doubt you will attract a good man too. You know, A GROWN-UP!!
I am sorry to say (meaning I am sorry to disagree), Dan is fine. The same he was fine when he took the decision to D, the same when he cheated. I spent year(s) thinking my husband was not well, feeling worried about him and at the same time he had a steady GF, living the love of his life. To me of course, he acted sad and depressed. He did the same thing with the C. Now I know he was just trying to figure out which woman was worth the trouble and was preoccupied with that. Sad but true, nothing to do with "inward examination" etc etc Also, he was the whole time worried about he kids-guilt. Same with Dan. They are fathers. They do care. But they are both too selfish to harm themselves and IMO, Dan was acting by 80%.
My C actually said to explain to kids that sometimes couples stop loving each other enough or the way they should to remain married and that is the truth in your case Bbj. If you could stand cheating and him being "absent" you would probably still be married. I didnt suggest lie, I suggested giving them to see a "united front" in this to avoid having them hoping and wishing as much as that is possible. And no matter what is going on, what will soothe THEM is key here, not what is "right" for you.
I wasn't implying you should worry about him or take care of him. Just to protect your kids.
BJ - I still drop by the db forums every now and again. I feel such a bond from "the gang" that got bombed all around the same time. The personal issues we've been through together and shared - I'll never forget. FB is just not the same.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Peter does raise a good caution and you should be the one to determine if Dan has really flipped out. But as Kalni, and even Woog, have pointed out over the last couple years - this is Dan the broken man. I lean to the side that he has a pathological nature to con or play games with you. It may not be that he does this on purpose but more out of habit of his own selfishness.
It sounds like your counselor can help you learn how to best coparent with a jerk.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this now, but I am optimistic that things will settle down for you shortly.
The sooner I tell the kids the sooner I can have nothing to do with XH except pick ups and drop offs, and some of those follow the school day so I don't even see him then....
Oh and I tried forwarding a text to my email. It let me but it says it came from my phone, there is no way to show that Dan sent it so for legal purposes I don't think it would mean much. I mean technically I could have sent it to myself...but in my phone it shows the name and number who sent it so I will keep them there as well...
And I failed to mention my IC and I both found it kind of sadly not-surprising that he is so miserable. After all he told me a year ago that I was the reason for all his unhappiness. Well, after 15 months out of the house and away from me, how happy is he? Sheesh...
Someone on another thread had suggested opening your phone to the largest display screen and take a picture of the text using a digital camera that records the date.
Dan exhibiting "The Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde" or 'victim' persona... sounds all too familiar to my XH.
He has done all of what I'm hearing Dan do... plus some.
You have my empathy.. wish I had some words of wisdom.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
That plus the "You can hate me for doing this to the kids as I hate you for the same"...