and then i think... am i not doing the same if I push H away and out of the baby's life? Am i making a decision that will affect lives and who am I to do so?
Exactly- IF we are given the choice to have the daddy in our babies' lives, IF the daddy will be a good thing, then yes, it is selfish to deny our baby his father.
BUT if the daddy will be in and out, inconsistent, then that will create a child who is insecure and not trusting of others, and who will be looking for the father figure in their future relationships. Does this make sense? So I was all about seeing if WH would be a regular, consistent, good dad. If he wasn't, I was planning on filing divorce and full custody.
Piano- get your rest and enjoy your time alone the best you can. Also, you make a good point about seeing cake eating as a sacrifice for the bigger picture. In my sitch, I am glad that WH was allowed to cake eat. Now that the bakery is closed, he will remember the cake was delicious. But I have no control over what he chooses to do now and can only focus on my life.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
