What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

[gatsby11]

Soccer mom! I hope I'm somewhat along that line, too, BD. . .

So I've been influenced by AliSuddenly over on your thread.

Last night, COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARILY, a song got into my head. I didn't even recognize the song at first, until I realized it was one that he and I had shared as an inside joke! It really is hilarious and. . . just dumb. I actually LOLed yesterday after it got in my head; wasn't sad or anything, just really laughed.

So I was thinking about emailing him about it and then telling him that he should have told me about Bill Murray. (About a month ago he met Bill Murray, one of my favorites, and he DIDN'T TELL ME. Really made me mad, actually, at first. I heard from his mom.)

The whole email would be very light, and I would put a smiley face after the Bill Murray part.

The thing is, if I do this, it would change the dynamic. Instead of both of us being silent and clipped, it might make things lighter. Do I actually want that? Have I detached enough that I'm okay with that? I think the only way it works is if I think of him as ill. If he is in an ill place right now that hopefully he can get healed from, I think it's okay. If he's an a**hole who dumped me when the going got rough, then no way!

Or I could just look at it objectively and say no matter what he is, it's better to have a lighter correspondence rather than a serious one.

How would this change affect our dealing with the baby? Our potential divorce proceedings?

Would he take it that I want to be 'friends' and contact me more while staying far away from commitment? Is that okay for me? Is that getting closer to piecing? And what if he has an OW? Would he just think that I was so "last year"?

It's a big deal for me, I don't know. You can give me your thoughts, but I'll probably just go ahead and do it just for the hell of it. I do think I've detached enough that I just want to shake things up. No real expectations for a reply.

Or maybe I won't. I tend to do that, too.