The dreaded LIMBO

[4luv]

So nothing new to report but I figured I should put something on my thread...lol.

Husband made an appointment with my FT. I todl him I would go to the first appointment with him (he asked). I do not plan on addressing any of my issues in this session with husband but really wanted to go to get a feel of what husband was going to say to FT. I hope I can keep my cool but if I hear husband come out with an ounce of BS I will most likely call him on it. I also plan to use this session to spell out my transparency plan and the need for it (this is the ONLY thing I would like to discuss). I feel better bringing it up during the FT session because I know that FT will back me up on it and explain it better than I can if husband doesn't understand. Remember that husband agreed to change his number but he hasn't done it yet and I haven't brought it up again (even though this is still what I want). I promised myself that I wasn't going to spell out HOW husband needs to earn my trust. I want to see what steps he takes on his own.

I do talk to husband but we mostly talk via email or text now. I don't know if the feelings are coming back or will ever come back to how I once felt about him. Still so much hurt adn some of the things he told me about his affair I haven't even begun to process all my feelings. I plan on seeing my FT alone to address these first because I don't want my stuff and husband's stuff to be addressed together right now.

Everything seems to be moving soooo slow. I mean its only been two weeks but it just seems as things are going so slow. I feel that husband should have changed his number immediately; however, I read that Puppy said his wife took a full month before she sent her NC letter to OM. I just assumed that the cheating spouse would do everything all at once.

I guess I need to remain patient and see if husband actually makes the changes that I need in order to feel safe that he will not cheat again and that he is fully committed to our family. I have continued to GAL and work on my business. I noticed that my mind was all a mess that first week that he kept saying that he wanted his family back and I had all that anger. I decided to detach again and luckily had my business to take my mind off the relationship. This is also the reason I hadn't updated my stitch...I just didn't want to think about it AT ALL :-)

I realize this post is all over the place but it just happens to be the effect of this LARGE iced coffee (no cream or sugar) I drank due to lack of sleep (lots of orders to fill for Mother's Day)!