Well keep in mind there are people on this DB forum who respect marriage and have no problem in a loving and reciprocal relationship based on love and respect. So we may have to look here.
Whats messing alot of things up out here is some of the spouses need to feel they are in control or have a leg up on their spouse, so it invites some really devlish behaviors over time. Also I don't understand how one can treat all their friends better than their spouse.
Sometimes its abad and we need to get out, and not try to understand it.
