Gotcha. That makes sense about the intel. Glad you're going to keep DBing and putting yourself first, and hugs back to you! I'd better get back to work now, so take care - keep posting your progress. PG.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
We had a good talk yesterday afternoon. I wasn't weepy or anything. I was friendly without being a sucker and was straight to the point. He asked me questions and I answered honestly.
There had been alot of misunderstandings on his part.
I told him that he needs to make an effort. I will not be the only one making moves. He said he understands.
We ended our conversation and he did a few little things that caught my attention. When he told me he'd call me, he did. At one point he ran out to the store and got a ride with his neighbor and he sent me an email apologizing that he ran out without calling first. He also had this same acquaintence over having burgers and he called me while the acquaintence was there and we chatted for a bit and then the acquaintence left and we stayed on for a while longer and then I ended the conversation because I had to get to bed.
I checked intel and he's been looking at flights to come home tomorrow (YAY!) and he was on FB putting pictures of the kids up as well and going through old pictures he has on his computer.
I have spoken to him on and off today and he is trying to get home tomorrow, if possible. He says he wants out of there.
We shall see what happens friends.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
How can any one of us be a "sucker" for loving our spouse and trusting them, unless they make us a sucker?
I guess my sucker comment was more that I wasn't overly verbally affectionate or anything like that over the phone.
I think at one point my H did make me a sucker...He definitely took advantage of the fact that I loved him and he knew I'd stick around...it wasn't until I came on here and grew a backbone, that I was able to get some of that confidence back to stand on my own two feet and put my foot down that I wasn't going to allow him to mistaken my kindness for stupidity.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
How can any one of us be a "sucker" for loving our spouse and trusting them, unless they make us a sucker?
I guess my sucker comment was more that I wasn't overly verbally affectionate or anything like that over the phone.
I think at one point my H did make me a sucker...He definitely took advantage of the fact that I loved him and he knew I'd stick around...it wasn't until I came on here and grew a backbone, that I was able to get some of that confidence back to stand on my own two feet and put my foot down that I wasn't going to allow him to mistaken my kindness for stupidity.
We should be able to turn it all the way up with our spouse knowing we are getting it back. The problem obviously arrives when we understand our spouse does not view us the same way we view them. Or that we are not as worthy of their time as they are of ours. People show it in their actions and should not need to be leveraged to act right. Acting right is simply doing right by people, including your spouse. I don't know why this is so difficult to people.
Well keep in mind there are people on this DB forum who respect marriage and have no problem in a loving and reciprocal relationship based on love and respect. So we may have to look here.
Whats messing alot of things up out here is some of the spouses need to feel they are in control or have a leg up on their spouse, so it invites some really devlish behaviors over time. Also I don't understand how one can treat all their friends better than their spouse.
Sometimes its abad and we need to get out, and not try to understand it.
Absolutely! Unfortunately, my H's learned the hard way. He has gotten screwed over by family and friends. Guess who has always been at his side no matter what though? yup, you guessed it.
I love Maya Angelou..
'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
