Well, H has not ever done or given me anything from the kids since the separation so I guess I should stop too. That's why I didn't do anything for Easter. Thought wait, I know he is in a fog or whatever but he could have at least took D13 to get a card for me.
Last year God Bless his soul, my S19 who is mentally challenged got me an anniversary card. He didn't know any better.
I smiled and hugged him and told him THANK YOU SO MUCH! But then when he left I went upstairs and cried and cried.
Matt and Cat, thank you for your input. If H starts to give me things from the kids for birthdays etc. then I will do the same. But not until then.
Just was always trying to let him know that we all love and miss him since he is so depressed. I didn't put the words we love and miss you, just had the kids sign Love, D13 and SS19. Thought I was doing the right thing as far as my faith goes but I guess not.
I personally would not acknowledge the anniversary while he is involved with OW. But that's just me...
You know you and your H the best...do what feels right to you. Someone said to wait until the end of the day before you send the text to see if he contacts you first. I think that's a good idea. If he wishes you happy anniversary reply likewise.
(((hugs)))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
SA - I haven't had to face that one yet, though it is coming up and I dread it! Just sending you some ((hugs)). Last year WH made it the best anniversary EVER, then left the next week!! Aarrgghh!!!
Thanks to all for your opinions and advice on the anniversary question. After thinking about it for a few days and taking advice into consideration I will not be acknowledging the anniversary.
Yes, I am sad that the day that I considered the most special in my life has no meaning to the man my H now is.
I will not be wallowing, but I might be imbibing. May have the adult children keep the cell phone locked up just in case.
Why don't you do something special for yourself that day. Spa, massage, manicure or hike in the mountains(whatever interests YOU) or do something that you always wanted to do but never did. It will get your mind off the anniversary.
Mach,
I have grown and changed a lot during this process. I think our marriage needed this. We were sort of coasting for years just going through the motions. I can definitly see where our marriage will be a lot better if things work out. If they don't......I'm still better for it!
I didn't think it would take this longgggg though.
