Matilda, Of course it worries me--the lack of intimacy. Her behavior has served to distance me, not bring me closer. My emotional reactions to her have moved me into a more comfortable friendship and roommate mode. This is how I've coped. I've been able to move forward on my own in some ways, but haven't worked at moving US forward for various reasons--hopelessness, confusion, fear, frustration, doubt.
It's uncomfortable now because I've been putting more effort into connection, so my expectations were raised, and hopes rekindled. I had hoped the increased connection and commitment to the dance performance team would move us forward (and it probably has).
I have to insist that she act like a W, while maintaining connection. That is my work for now. I have to maintain the friendship/companion mindset. This isn't a time to retreat into GAL. That work has been done. I'm now prepared to move into a social life if I need to.
I'm planning on how to respond to sleeping elsewhere behavior or having male companionship in the home. She will now be held accountable for those decisions. She will also be given an opportunity to make a commitment to the M.
I will work on expanding my definition of love.
Her leash has been shortened.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
