I don't have any problem with what you plan to tell them. As time goes on they will figure out more and more, so it makes sense to start with truth, just not too much of it, and I think you have that balance figured out.
I am becoming pretty convinced that based on Dan and his drama, that it may well be best for you to tell them alone, without Dan. He seems to be in an "it's all about Dan" place, and I don't think that's at all what the kids need to see. He will have to talk to them to (they will certainly ask him about it, anyway, though they can't make him talk) eventually. But it seems that right now he really wouldn't be very helpful in the initial telling. Thinking about it, not much of a surprise, is it?
HUGS, BobbiJo. The good thing is that once you've done it, the kids can start to move forward to. And I think you will feel better as well.
