I just don't know what to tell you, you have a different sitch than I did. My ex told me he wanted a d on Sept. 6th, our 15th wedding anniversary was Oct. 10th & he stayed in the same house with me after he told me, he just moved his things to the guest room & slept in there. (talk about hard)!!! Anyway, on our 15th, he wanted to talk about selling the house & getting a price & everything. I told him that I wasn't talking about anything that day, like d, selling, anything that he knew what day it was. He said yes, I told him I would like to have dinner with him, I said I could cook or whatever. He called me later in the day & asked if I wanted to go out to eat. So, we went out but of course, I knew about ow, he didn't know I knew, I couldn't eat much. We walked around the mall a little then home, it was weird, he was very distant. When we got home, I told him how much I had loved him & those were the best years. He told me then that he had really loved me too. He went to his room, our youngest dog would not go to bed until she saw him, so I just went to the door, knock but opened it without him saying come in, he claimed he was asleep, but I saw his phone lite up, he was texting that ow. He didn't know I saw it & I didn't tell him, it wasn't until the beginning of Nov. that he knew I knew about her. So, that really upset me that he was texting her on "our" day but of course, he wasn't thinking about it either.
Sorry, I didn't mean to go on about my deal but my h was in the same house with me, yours is not. If you are going to do this, wait until the end of the day & see if he contacts you first. Like Matt said, it is one of the hardest days & continues to be.
I'm sure others on here have better advice than me. You have to go with your gut. Thinking about you!!
My anniversay is coming up in a few days too, and I am dreading it. This is my second anniversary post bomb and last year's was horrible of course. With my H at home even I really don't plan on acknowledging it at all. It just sucks.
I don't really have any advice about the text. If you do send one, keep it as simple as that.
While I realize that the anniversary still means something to you, on the surface it doesn’t mean too much to our MLCer’s.
I know many people just buy cards for the occasion and keep them so if reconciliation happens, they have them to give.
If you are going to do anything, make it very simple, kind, non pressuring (although any reminder will be pressuring), and make sure you have no expectations of anything in return.
((((hugs))))
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
SA, has there been a precedent set - has there been a birthday that he didn't remember post bomb??
My husband left on our 14th Wedding Anniversary so I can't imagine for one minute I'll be sending him a card to celebrate our 15th!! Christmas was a hidous card which could have been bought by a 12 year old and not my type of card at all and he sent me a text for my birthday in March (and didn't organise anything with the kids for me. Unless anything changes I'll not be acknowledging his birthday or our anniversary.
So, in answer to your question - he may well be thinking of you and your anniversary but he mighten wnat to acknowlegde it because he fears any repercussions - don't have any expectation from him and have a card at the ready in case he surprises you.
If he doesn't surprise you then maybe think about popping it away in a box to show your husband when/if his MLC fog lifts and the time is right.
lalxx
Choose Life Me: 45 Him: 44 S:11 D:8 Met in 1992 Married in 1995 Bomb drop September 30th 2009 Divorce final April 16th 2011 exH Marries OW June 17th 2011
I like what lalxx is saying...what have been doing on special occassions? Take it from there but as she said, have a card or something ready just in case!
(((hugs)))
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I didn't acknowledge last years anniversary with H. He has been gone since 11/08. I dreaded the day coming and didn't know how I was going to get through it. But I did survive.
This year is a little different, we aren't fighting over the phone or anything on a daily basis.....really no contact since the Wed. after Easter when he had D13 give me the leftover pizza from when they went out and told her to give it to me and tell me Happy Easter. WTH???? I think D13 asked if she should tell me Happy Easter.
Well, Easter was the first holiday I didn't text H and tell him to enjoy his holiday.
I usually text first and then he responds "thanks you too" I have bought gifts for his birthday and Christmas from the kids but not once did he do anything for me since the separation.
Sorry for going on and on. But I was also wondering what to do since our Anniversary is on the 9th and it is also Mothers Day. This is going to be a rough on with it falling on Mothers Day. His Mom and step-dad also have the same anniversary. It was her idea to pick our date of M. So I know he won't be able just to blow it off, or maybe he will just concentrate on it being his Mothers and Step-Fathers Day. This will be the first for H to celebrate these days with his Mother in a long time since he didn't speak to her for over 12yrs.
He isn't taking D13 this Sat. cause he said they (mother, and rest of his family) are going out to celebrate his mother's birthday. And won't see her next weekend cause he will tell her she needs to be with me because it is Mothers Day.
So, I don't know what to do either. Looks like we are all in a pickle here. What do we do?
No way the same year also? Maybe all the planets and stars were alligned that day which has somehow caused our marriages to be in trouble some 17 years later. Are you 41 also.
I agree with what you said about memories, pressure and expectations. You actually made it a lot clearer to me. So Thanks! It's good to get a reminder every now and then.
I tried to look up your sitch but can't really find an original one. So explain away...
Are you 41 also.