[But she doesn't have it turned up to 11 like you MF.
Ferg - You've seen two very different sides. Unfortunately (or not), you haven't seen the side that I'm talking about IRL (only here to a degree).
In everything I do, I am surrounded by smiling, supportive, inviting people. I just choose to live that way. I'm the fastest friend, but also have the quickest dismissal... With me, you can either hang, or not... (Admission - I tend to ignore people too quickly, almost impolitely.)
So, the fact that professionally and personally I am surrounded by people that are just plain good, BY CHOICE, is probably intimidating to H. He isn't like that at all. He may think he is, but he is surrounded by them, only because I am. He does nothing to initiate nor nurture their existence.
With that said... he is an "entertainer" and revels in it. If there's a crowd, he has the funniest joke, the most applicable story, the best hip, new shirt, the craziest antic, etc... (Gosh, typing that actually nauseates me.) So, my "supporting staff" finds him SO funny, SO charming, SO current, etc... We are the "cool couple/parents". ICK
I realize that extra info doesn't reconcile w/this...
[quote}My H's biggest complaint about me was my need to make friends everywhere. Maybe he should have been enough of one! Huh? (Sorry, that was mean.). [/quote]
But, the reality is... I think he's always been annoyed that I tend to lead (SHOCK), and is truly jealous of his thunder being stolen. But, I just am myself... typically warm, sunny, and inviting. He's not like that in a crowd. He only warms to it, after launch.
I think you're probably (a lot)right about him not feeling like I pay enough attention to him. The reality is... he's always been the king of zingers. So, every time we go somewhere, or entertain at home, he has probably said something to rile me, and it launches my desire to be ME around others LIKE me, with or without him.
And, to finish this thought... do you remember the "circle of friends" email intro? H's would have, well, um... probably not ONE that considers him a true friend. I struggle w/having a HANDFUL of truly BFF's, and another two handfuls of people who consider themselves really close friends of mine. And, an (for lack of a better term) entourage of 20+ others that I could call/txt on a whim and have dinner plans immediately.
No idea of that the above sounds like, or how it reads. I woke up at 3am w/a terrible sore throat and fever. Now, I can't sleep.
/Just re-read it... I've always been friendly, but maybe I cherish others friendships, since I haven't really cherished ours for a long time. //OK, I think I can sleep now, but it's time to wake up! ///You guys are the best. My head will surely swell. ////Do I need to type slashies when I'm done?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
