Thank you for your comments, AJM. They mean a lot to me. I read some of your situation and I must say, you have come a long way. Now I know that's where the wisdom comes from.
I am having a very rough day. Yes, it's because h and I have been texting back and forth. His hatred knows no bounds. My car will not start and I asked him if he could come take a look at it. I think it's the starter and he can fix that easily. I don't have the money to take it anywhere else. Well, he said his car isn't running again. So, he can't come. So, I'm stuck.
Then that escalated into how he faked sex with me for 33 years. Never loved me. Hates me, is disgusted by me and wants me dead. He said over and over how I just don't get it. I've been duped for years and didn't even know it. At one point when he was starting to get to me and I said, oh it's not even worth going on.....his comment was "haven't seen your tombstone yet, so I'll wait to party."
Nice, huh? I told him nice try with his made up cr*p but, even he couldn't lie that well for 33 years! I said that would mean you not only "lied" to me, but to my family, your family, our friends, our pastors and church friends, The U.S. Army, our children, etc. I laughed and said no way that you could be the best actor to ever grace the earth and lie that much. And yes, I told him he was sick. And he needs to seek help fast. I also told him he was real close to me calling and having him taken to the hospital for an evaluation. With that he said "remember if I lose my job, you won't get any money from me." I told him then he'd better run, not walk to seek help. And that he was close to a breakdown where he could lose his job without it having anything to do with me.
I know they talk out of their butts, and they try to place all the blame on their spouse. I also know it's so much easier and a lot less pain for themselves if they can re-write history (even though it's totally unbelievable to anyone but themselves!) and claim to have been lying and faking it. I know they do all of this so they don't have to admit they are wrong and that they have done severe damage to their loved ones.
But, I'm not buying that this is all MLC. Or even depression. This just sounds crazy. Like there is something seriously wrong with him besides MLC. I know there is nothing "normal" about MLC, but how do you know there isn't something else wrong? How do you know it isn't Bipolar or something else? Since my husband's family is so dysfunctional and they are supporting him in walking away and abandoning his family and all his responsibilities, he thinks he's ok. He has his little group of so-called friends who believe everything he tells them. They don't know me or our kids, so why not believe him? He quit going to our church when he left, and doesn't talk to anyone from there, so there is no one else to confront him. When my sister told him he was wrong, he just blew that off that my family would support me and say anything. He's forgotten that he always said my sister was the little sister he never had. They were always close; always able to talk to each other. Now, he blows her off.
Yes, I am really upset tonight. I have no job, I will lose my house if there isn't a miracle before then, my car is busted, and the finance company calls me every day for being late on payments and threatened to take my car away from me. I am completely overwhelmed with my pitiful life. Although it did occur to me that I have the makings of a great country song! LOL!
I have been trying to detach, but I'm not really good at it. I keep telling myself I need to completely leave him alone, and not ask for his help, but it's hard to do after 33 years. When something goes wrong, he's the first person I think of to fix things.....cause he always has. And I never had to ask anyone else. Heck, I don't even know who to ask! And since I'm so stinking broke, I can't afford anyone else. He's cheap labor, even though I have to put up with his hatred and bad attitude.
So, now I am wondering what do you do if you think it's more than MLC? I know that untreated depression is dangerous. And, h is sliding fast down the abyss! I don't want to just ignore his behavior and then beat myself up forever if he cracks up or worse. But, I also know he won't listen to anything I say and his friends are too wasted and self-absorbed and let's face it, not too bright, to ever consider there might be something wrong with him! This sitting around waiting for him to hit rock bottom and flip out completely is torture!
And I know that is what God is trying to teach me. To wait. To not jump in and rescue him. To let him crash on his own and reap the consequences. Unfortunately, it means I also reap the consequences. And God wants me to ignore Satan when he sits on my shoulder telling me my h means everything he's telling me. I confess that sometimes I listen to him for a little while. But, not too long. I come to my senses and remind him who he is. As my daughter liked to say when she was little......"he's a loser, and a liar, and his house is on fire!"
I read some of your situation and I must say, you have come a long way. Now I know that's where the wisdom comes from. 
Like there is something seriously wrong with him besides MLC. I know there is nothing "normal" about MLC, but how do you know there isn't something else wrong? How do you know it isn't Bipolar or something else? Since my husband's family is so dysfunctional and they are supporting him in walking away and abandoning his family and all his responsibilities, he thinks he's ok. He has his little group of so-called friends who believe everything he tells them. They don't know me or our kids, so why not believe him? He quit going to our church when he left, and doesn't talk to anyone from there, so there is no one else to confront him. When my sister told him he was wrong, he just blew that off that my family would support me and say anything. He's forgotten that he always said my sister was the little sister he never had. They were always close; always able to talk to each other. Now, he blows her off. 
