Question

[awest1217]

Last night wasn't too bad. S was all over the place and I did get help from my brother, sister, SIL, and parents, but they all agree he is off the wall. Even my brother kept talking to him and telling him to calm down because S would just hit himself in the head for no reason.

When we got home it was a calm night and S was very good. The medicine is giving him an upset stomach, which isn't good, but tonight is the last night. He is coughing less so that is a good thing. I just hope that the cough stays away this time.

Besides that, a boring weekend because of the rain. This week and next are busy at work as we start into the hardest sections of the trimester, but is also the most fun for me because I am constantly busy so it goes by quickly. Down to 5.5 more weeks of work for me and then summer vacation. I will start the first part switching rooms, but after that...just relaxing and having fun!

[ClingingToHope]

Ah, the joys of being a teacher. It still has its perks.

[awest1217]

Yeah, but this is the first summer in 5 years that I get to enjoy the summer vacation. The first summer I was teaching summer school. The next few I took summer classes to keep up my license. Last summer I spent pretty much every day sad, depressed, and just it a funk all the time. This year...I will have fun!

On a bad note, I did have a wave of sadness/anger tonight. I was making dinner for S, brother, SIL, nephew and myself (my SIL is in charge of this community resale and I knew they would be pressed to make dinner so I did it for them ) when I went to get the table ready and looked at H and my wedding picture (my favorite one with us about to kiss and smiling ear to ear). I got so sad because I thought where did that all go. Then I got mad because who throws away a marriage and family for a "friend". A little set-back probably because I was making breakfast for dinner and I know H loves that stuff plus seeing the pic...it just brought back a lot of memories.

I am ok now. No word from H since Friday when we saw him at his parents since MIL invited us for pizza. I forgot to put on here what S said on the way home from the in-laws.
S - Mom why is daddy staying at Grandma's?
Me - Because that is where daddy lives
S - No daddy lives at his house
Me - No daddy lives at grandma's house because his house got sold to someone else
S - Why?
Me - I just told you
S - because daddy doesn't like OW anymore

I just laughed...how children know... I haven't brought up OW to S in months, probably since fall, but he associates H's "house" with OW living there.

[awest1217]

Surprising development yesterday. I was talking to H about his day and mine when he starts talking about next year. He is trying to decide if he should stay at the grade where he is or move up one grade because the defacto leader at the grade where he is at is not the best teacher and he feels she is bringing him down.

Through the conversation I told him how much confidence I have in him and his ability to teach (he may be a poor H and father, but he is an awesome teaacher). He then let me know that it meant a lot to him and that he thought I had no faith in him after he got fired from his first teaching job. I told him that I never lost faith in him and always have thought he was a good teacher. The school that fired him was stupid and fired him for stupid reasons like because he had the kids up and moving around to learn instead of doing wksts (he taught 1st grade at the time).

I let him know I was sorry for not letting him know how proud of him I was then and not supporting him enough. He is a very proud person and was kind of cocky coming out of college thinking he would get a job right away and be the best teacher in all the world, but when he didn't get a job then got fired, it knocked him down a few rungs, which definitely could have lead to where we are today. He was depressed and upset about not providing, but he needed to be knocked down because he was too cocky and everything was always given to him on a silver platter. He is now succeeding and me telling him how proud I am of his teaching accomplishments meant a lot to him.

Nothing earth shattering, but maybe going to rehab is getting at his core issues? Maybe not? I am not going to hold out any hope right now, but at least it was something.

[Lucky11too]

I hear you about going down memory lane. It's amazing how relatively quickly they can go from pure joy to this. Those sadness/anger moments are definitely apart of this whole cycle we go thru, but like you said, it's temporary and we can't let it keep us down.

Interesting development yesterday. It obviously doesn't guarentee anything, but it's really great that you were able to let him know how proud of him you are. There are definitely a lot of core issues that don't even directly involve you (but directly affect you), so I too hope the rehab is really helping him work thru some of those issues to give you guys even a chance to have an R.

And I have to comment on S's conversation with you. That's just too funny. It's so sad but true. It's surprising how even kids can just get it.

[awest1217]

Things just keep getting better...

I got a call about 15 minutes ago that S has diahrea so he can't go to school tomorrow. Normally this is not a problem, but I need to be at work tomorrow. I have planned a lesson that I have to be here for and I can't postpone it. H has state testing this week so although I asked, I am sure he will say no. MIL is also involved with testing so probably can't although I will ask. My mom took off today because my step-dad had surgery. My brother has the VP of the company coming in tomorrow. My SIL is working the sale. My sister works at the daycare where S goes and can't take off because she needs the money... Plus I have a sick kid to take care of.

AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

[Lucky11too]

Oh no. Poor little S just can't catch a break. I hope you are able to find someone for tomorrow and that S is feeling better! =\

[awest1217]

No because of course H couldn't possibly take one day this year off to watch S. I understand he has the testing, but come on he took a day off when he was already going to be gone two for training for a person's funeral he hasn't seen or talked to in 5 years. URG! Then I say how i am starting to not feel great and of course his stomach hurts too. How convenient.

So once again I have to sacrifice for my family. I don't mind really, but I wanted to take off later in May and now that isn't going to get to happen since I took off today. Oh well...S means more to me than me.

[Lucky11too]

Yep, we know all too well about sacrificing for family, which unfortunately our H's know nothing about. It's unfortunate you couldn't find someone, but I'm sure it means more to S then anything to have his mommy there for him right now when he's not feeling good. It's tough when our S's are so needy sometimes but it's also a good feeling about how much love and trust they give back to us. Well, I hope the day goes ok for you and that S (and you!) are feeling better!

[awest1217]

S is feeling better, but I am going down quick...

Taking care of a sick kid must finally be getting to me, but I can't get sick for the rest of this week and next because I am too busy! I just have to keep pushing myself and not dwell on it. It is really bad when I don't feel like eating cookies or chocolate.