"The fall was short" for me, not for W...I am devastated for her- the pain she's in etc. But I did not invest emotionally in this recent event...the "notion" that W was wanting to "work" on things.
I really don't want to D her- EVER...but I feel that I can not really live in LIMBO much longer- being committed to someone whom is not at all in my life.
I know she might not always run or go for challenges or use drugs again...SO much damage has been done. I keep thinking of future family interactions where the discomfort and pain is too immense to enjoy anything.
I know I can't see the future so my thoughts are w/o real perspective.
I just don't know what else to do...I do feel badly that the "truth" is out there to her friends and family (drug use), and that W is seeking IC...I know that my seeking D at a time like this is "cruel" or "damaging"...those are not my intentions...
I feel like a hostage and like my life is passing me by...I never really gave up on W but I feel like I'm about to, not as a person but as my W.
