I have held my head high and been graceful and lady like although a baseball bat and balaclava would have been more appropriate! I actually considered having her bumped off!
Its is crazy we feel we have to take matters into our own hands.As you rightly say people are prosecuted for less....
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
I was just reading an article on imdb yesterday explaining that actor Randy Quaid and his wife were "fugitives"... running from the law...
What did they do that has police hunting them down for a jail sentence?
They racked up a 10K hotel bill and ran out...
They have since PAID the bill, but the police still want to arrest them for teh crime they have committed...
We have people violating homes and bringing immeasurable emotional violence on famlilies and cops are out there hunting people down who PAY their hotel bills...
whats your sitch Allen? I am assuming your spouse had an A too? I think the US have some laws which are aimed at those who have A's but not too sure if they are too costly for people to pursue.Are you UK based? If there was the ability to press charges I most certainly would have done so.The problem is these people are generally philanderers.My H ow is, multiple offenders who hae no feelings whatsoever for the people she hurts.I pray she and all the others get their day. My mother has suffered for years and I have told her I have little sympathy.She positioned herself as the victim for a long time, a roman catholic who was thrown out cos she fell in love with a D man.She was thrown out cos she was seeing a married man.But she has paid her dues.My F is a controlling, possessive man, everything we say the OP usually is, lots of problems and definitely has a personality disorder. I sometimes feel bad thats how I feel but it is and she knows it.
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
I had a discussion with my wife about this during her affair.
She was trying to justify affairs to me and explaining that sometimes it's ok, depending on how bad it is at home.
I told her what i thought and I stand by it to this day :
Infidelity will NOT SOLVE the probelms in your home - it only makes them WORSE.
Even if there is violence in the home... Sneaking out to have sex with someone else is NOT the brightest idea to say the least... and I would argue the person you are having the affair with is terribly selfish and wreckless to put you in danger like that... Most OP know what's going on in the home, though its often exaggerated considerably... if the OP suspects there IS violence in the home the LAST thing they should be doing is mounting you in a hotel room... that will just aggravate the LBS and bring on WORSE violence.
The solution is the same - if there are problems in the home, you work on them, as a couple. If there is risk of harm from violence or there is drug or alcohol abuse etc then make arrangements to safely exit the home to a place where you are SAFER...
Sneaking out the home, no matter how bad it is, to have sex covertly is NOT a solution - its an escape.
My wife had no response for this... But the look on her face said that she got it quite clearly... At the time she was still cheating and just wanted to justify herself... The argument above disarmed her completely so she had nothing else to throw at me... she just walked away from the conversation.
She's been clean for almost six months now. My only regret is that the OM got away with using her for a long time... now my wife and I have to work hard to clean up the damage that HE mostly contributed to... and he is off dancing about having a ball wtihout a care in the world.. he got what he wanted... he used her over and over and when she started to get a conscience he threw her away...
She doesn't feel loved by him anymore, she just feels used.
There is a lot in our government indoctrination camps, oh, I mean schools (sorry to any teachers out there, it's not you, it's the system) that we don't teach (not that it's the school that has the responsibility for it, but it would be nice if maybe they had a seminar for parents or if it were more of a church teaching, or family teaching - family teaching being the most important...)
1. Money management, personal finance - including not getting into debt and paying with cash/saving 2. Marriage training - including that the "in love" chemicals do not last forever, and that marriage takes time, patience, understanding and communication as well as quality time - WORK, in other words. And how to never have an A - such as never sharing with the opposite sex intimate details of your life - and telling your mate immediately if you have feelings for someone. 3. Child rearing, including teaching self esteem and not seeing them as little extensions of yourself (ie letting them find and grow themselves with guidance rather than controlling them/guilting them) 4. How to be a good employee by not being on DB all day when you have a deadline to meet. LOL
I don't like logging on at work because the db.com interface is so loud. There are other forums I am on that are a lot less obvious...
wtih this one it has the words divorce and infidelity in big letters on the page when you open it... nto the most discrete page layout.. I think it should be changed to make it more subtle.
Allen how long did your wife have the A for? Does she really get now how truly distasterous and damaging they are and how parasitic the OP tend to be? Jail yes like it..no windows yes like, bread and water for ever, liking it more,let lose into a room full of cheated spouses to get a leathering ...love it.. Did she move out?
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
No my mum didnt.She is so ashamed and now appreciates just what infidelity does to people now both her D's have been exposed to it.I find it hard to forgive my mum for what shes done. These OP have no morals..I am not sure there is much which penetrate their thick skin.The ow in my sitch has broken numerous R's and gets away with..no friends though..if she was a man she'd have been leathered by now. Nothing is enough for these evil predators......
Its a scottish word for a beating.Not very nice I know daddy but unfortunately, I am still in the throws of wanting to really hurt all those OP who have hurt us and our families. Like Allen sitch they seem to walk away with no ties.
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
