Burt,

What if, on the "big payday," you instead did something nice and totally out-of-character . . . for yourself?

Golf trip with some buddies? Major "guy" purchase? Elective surgery?

I think you need to do something to radically change the dynamic of "I will be nice to Burt when he's making money for me/us, and cold to him when he's not." Sure sounds like you DESERVE something fun, anyway.

Puppy

P.S. When the $$$ is good, does she ever initiate?