What if, on the "big payday," you instead did something nice and totally out-of-character . . . for yourself?
Golf trip with some buddies? Major "guy" purchase? Elective surgery?
I think you need to do something to radically change the dynamic of "I will be nice to Burt when he's making money for me/us, and cold to him when he's not." Sure sounds like you DESERVE something fun, anyway.
Puppy
P.S. When the $$$ is good, does she ever initiate?