Maybe he is; I haven't really followed his sitch. I was speaking generally.
This one probably hits me a little too close to home to be of much good advice on this topic anyway, lOL!
Puppy
No she is almost NO sex drive. She has even said that she does not see the point in it at all unless trying to have kids, which we are not right now. I am in a terrible sitch becasue I am on medication for my sleep problems and one side efect is a increased sex drive. I feel like a 20 year old kid and she does not seem to want it. I am not sure what to do. Thanks for all of the advice, keep it coming, it really helps.
What do you want more - do a 180 and make her feel sexy and desired or to take the chance that your marriage will fall apart and you'll be living alone? Do the 180. It must be hard to be shy about a very important need for men (sex). For women, I think, it is even harder to have a shy husband because men are expected to lead and women follow (more often) in this area.
Plan out the things you'd need to get her and you in the mood. If she rejects - who cares? You'll have really made a spark go off in her heart that says this SMM23 is a much cooler man than I thought. Just keep trying.
Any ideas? I will try to read the sex starved book, but I have never really done things to get her in the mood before. So maybe inadvertantly I have discovered a problem. It is easy to say lets go do it instead of working up to it. So being the loser that I am, any suggestions on things to do? I will not have time to get that book for a few days and then it will take a few more to read. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Maybe he is; I haven't really followed his sitch. I was speaking generally.
This one probably hits me a little too close to home to be of much good advice on this topic anyway, lOL!
Puppy
No she is almost NO sex drive. She has even said that she does not see the point in it at all unless trying to have kids, which we are not right now. I am in a terrible sitch becasue I am on medication for my sleep problems and one side efect is a increased sex drive. I feel like a 20 year old kid and she does not seem to want it. I am not sure what to do. Thanks for all of the advice, keep it coming, it really helps.
"No she is almost NO sex drive. She has even said that she does not see the point in it at all unless trying to have kids, which we are not right now."
What about you? If the shoe was on the other foot she would be in equivilent amounts of pain. What many of these low drive spouses don't realize, is just by doing the act regularly, their drive will increase.
What about you? If the shoe was on the other foot she would be in equivilent amounts of pain. What many of these low drive spouses don't realize, is just by doing the act regularly, their drive will increase.
I agree, but anytime it was brought up she goes on the attack and is quite hurtfull. I am very gun shy right now with any physical contact with her, and I know that it is causeing problems as well. But some people do not think I should try anythnig until she starts to come around with a more stable relationship. My thinking is that the physical aspect is necessary to move forward. But I am not sure, which is why I am asking all of you fine folks. I really hurt from a lack of affection. But what do I do???
i have offered foot massage with lotion...i mean a long 20 minutes not just some quick 2 miniute thing, and expect nothing in return. then maybe next night a back rub with lotion, don't for get to rub her butt and thighs :), again expect nothing in return....for some reason my W would always seem to enjoy the fact i was just doing it for her...
just a suggestion.
gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
Another thought. Could boring intimacy or "same-ol" cause some of her desire to be "free" so she can explore new things? Because to be honest, I have not been all that creative. She is the ONLY person I have ever been with and she has only been with 2 people. So maybe a big part of our problem is in the bedroom. Any thoughts on that??
What about you? If the shoe was on the other foot she would be in equivilent amounts of pain. What many of these low drive spouses don't realize, is just by doing the act regularly, their drive will increase.
I agree, but anytime it was brought up she goes on the attack and is quite hurtfull. I am very gun shy right now with any physical contact with her, and I know that it is causeing problems as well. But some people do not think I should try anythnig until she starts to come around with a more stable relationship. My thinking is that the physical aspect is necessary to move forward. But I am not sure, which is why I am asking all of you fine folks. I really hurt from a lack of affection. But what do I do???
Allow the marriage counselor to bring these points out. Some of us find our wives are more frisky after drinking alcohol or other activities. Pay attention. Plus like gman says below, do some "free" stuff for her that will get you into physical contact. Back rubs, neck rubs, leg rubs, etc, etc.
then maybe next night a back rub with lotion, don't for get to rub her butt and thighs :), again expect nothing in return....for some reason my W would always seem to enjoy the fact i was just doing it for her...
just a suggestion.
gman
Good one, she has been complaining that her back hurts, maybe I will rub her back for her tonight. I will not expect anything, that way it will not hurt when I do not get anything. She always likes her back scratched too. Good idea, keep them coming, I will try most anythnig at this point to help the marriage, I just know that a constant routine is not good for her. She likes to change things up and that is another problem we have.
