If thats a load of bull, how long should it take? I mean how long should one go without love and affection before they either cheat or leave?
Hi DaddyLongShanks, I'm not sure! I've been in that spot for a while now, and believe me, cheating and leaving have both been a real temptation. Now, this is all from my frame of reference in my own M so everyone, please punt this info if it doesn't feel right to you! From what my IC has taught me, if I am feeling without love and affection in my R, my responsibilities are: - learn about things that are missing in my own life (eg self-esteem, self-worth) that my H can't give me... learn things I can to to give those things to myself - begin sharing my feelings with my H about how the lack of love and affection is affecting me AND - figure out what it is that I need from my H to feel loved; to feel that affection etc. - then tell/ask my H accurately, and in a genuine, respectful way, for those exact things... consistently over time
Again, speaking from my sitch here, and until I'm doing that again consistently, I don't have the right to do anything but glue my butt down in this M and keep working at it! No cheating! No leaving!
If after that, my needs are still being disreguarded or unfulfilled, then it's time to stop asking and time to take action. Now I haven't gotten to that point yet, so I don't exactly know what 'action' means (yeek). And I hope to never find out.
I don't know if that helps anyone or not. I know everyone's situations are SO different. But at least it's another viewpoint for consideration.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
