how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

Another thing, duh, how'd I miss this?!? It's jumping off the page, waving a flag & yelling.

Perhaps H is transferring his feelings of loss over you/M to the dog?

this is a good point, ruined...but while i'm sure some of this is true, my H really, really REALLY REALLY loved our dog. they had a very deep bond and i actually really do feel afflicted at separating the two of them. it was my H's idea. i think it was more like his way of saying, see, i can't be that much of an A-hole if i'm willing to let you keep the dog. or sort of like a condolence...hey, i'm leaving you, and i feel awful about it, so i'm going to let you have the dog.

clearly the animal itself has no say, and i think that given the choice, the dog would have wanted to be with my H. i felt selfish keeping him from his daddy. he's learning to live without him, though, and doesn't sit by the door waiting for my H to come home anymore, but he's not the same dog, either. it's helped me more than i can say to have him in the house waiting for me and i know he'll be fine and that the therapy work we do is important, but...i guess knowing that just doesn't make this any easier.