This is why Penny Tuppy reccomends a PROTECTION PHASE... you would have a friend who would serve as an intermediary and would do your negotiating for you.. and woudl KEEP you from being EXPLOITED like this.
My concern ALJ is that your H may not even be fully honest with you. He tells you he can't pay his phone bill, and mysteriously now he can? Did it ever occur to you he was just being evasive and lying to you?
I really think you should get an intermediary to deal with him. If you can't control yourself ALJ then you cant PROTECT YOURSELF from being EXPLOITED, either.
You aren't his mother, but he treats you like one... Its ridiculous. I am not tellin gyou to give up on your marriage, but you DO need to give up on THIS DYANAMIC in your marriage... you just need to walk away from it...
Don't BE there when he watns something.. don't BE there when he calls.. don't BE available... HE's not.. he is available when he WANTS to be... from a DISTNCE when it is CONVENIENT to him. And when HE comes home he expects YOU to be there HE wants you to be WHEN HE WANTS you to be there... I remember you going out shopping and him throwing a tantrum because you came back late and he hadn't bothered to tell you he had made plans...
He's controlling this entire marriage right now... when he wants to be tehre, he is.. when he dons't ... he isn't... he has 100% control of the sitaution, and your instincts are to enable him and perpetuate this dynamic.
STOP BABYING him.. I think you know this already.. but it needs to be said.
Sorry,b ut he's cheating on you and controlling you, i don't trust a worth that comes out of his mouth regarding his claims to his financial situation or his phone bill.
If he was living under th same roof as you he wouldn't HAVE a phone bill to pay in teh first place. HE WANTED that phone along with the separate roof... to let him suffer.
Each time you try to rescue him you just teach him he can treat you like a doormat...sorry, but you are enabling him worrying over his phone bills.
Let him loose to grow up... babying him isn't going to lead him into a grown up place.
When YOU are making MORE money HE will just want MORE FROM you..h e will just USE YOU all the MORE...
YOU need to learn to say NO... NOW.. while its easy to do.
Its a LOT HARDER when he's THERE and you CAN help him more.. LEARN to protect yourself from him NOW... NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
