I would let her know what you are doing and why. Communicate very clearing the consequences of her bad behavior. The boundary has been violated and this is the result. This will be a bomb as it is, you want to be seen as in control and leading your life on this not letting someone else deliver the news.
I know that this is not what you want, it goes against your values, beliefs and who you are. You standing up for yourself is a honorable, loving and noble thing to do. You only are responsible for how you handle things.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
