Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

It's been awhile since I posted. I have been trying for weeks to get free legal advice concerning my rights regarding separation and child support. The legal aid office has told me that they only deal with divorces and not separations so I will get my information off of the internet and request a free consultation from a lawyer. I really want to be in the know when it comes to what my WH can and cannot fight me about regarding this situation.

By the looks of things, H has hit rock bottom when it comes to finances. He has asked to use $100 from the account and also $20
for gas money. I let him use the money last week and he says he needs it tomorrow also. He says he has been hired as a security guard and the company is just waiting on his background check to back from NY so he can start working. He also plans to work another job through a temp agency as a production worker working on a line of some sort. He says after tomorrow, he won't need any more money from the account. I let him use the money because he has and will help me if I asked him for money for things.

I just don't know. I am trying to walk that fine line of not being his friend but I keep slipping. One minute I am doing good, trying to detach from him and the next minute I get all emotional inside, trying to fight the feelings of despair. When H texted me asking about using the money, he also asked if I could mail him a pair of black pants that he left here because he wanted to go to church. Then I asked him to take care of a business matter for me and he said that he would but his phone might be shut off and he did not know when he would be able to pay the bill. Immediately, in my mind, I go into this mode of trying to solve all of his problems and rescue him. After a while, I send him a text asking him what he plans to do about his phone bill and he does not answer. Then I send another text asking him if he wanted to make arrangements for his bill. I was all ready to let him know when he could pay his bill using our account. He finally texted back that he had borrowed the money to pay his phone bill. I guess he did not want to ask to use more money from the account.

This "rescue mode" that I go into when H asks for help just does not apply to him. I am noticing that this is a habit that I had with family members also. I have gotten better at telling family members no. It's just that when H asks me, it makes me feel happy in a sense to help him and it lifts my mood. I also try to exhibit behaviors that H claims that I did not in the marriage. For example, the "not being there for him" complaint that he voiced to me. I know I have some issues to work on. On Sunday, it will one year since H walked out and moved away.