You seriously need to stop talking about your wife to HER friends and to "mutual friends"..
That is "girly" of you. You do know that everything you are telling her girlfriends and say to them is getting right back to your wife don't you? You do know that they tell you they will keep the talk private but don't really do that don't you?
This is making you look very weak. Very weak. Discussing with her best friend again and again whether she is having an affair. You DO know that her best friend would lie for her don't you?
Everything you talk to her friends about gets right back to her. Count on that. If you don't believe that then you don't know women at all. You are not in no contact if you are having conversations with her friends. Again. That is feminine behavior. Unattractive. Stop it. I would bet that they are secretly sick of you talking to them about her and are scared to hurt your feelings. You are not in no contact if you are talking to them. It is almost the same thing as talking to your wife directly. Count on it.
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I was at a conference last week and a mutual friend said she was angry that i was staying overnight and concerned if I was going to the bars to "Pick UP".
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Her best friend swears that there is not another man as she has asked her repeatedly.
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All her best girlfriends are friends with me and I am tight with their husbands and they insist that she is not involved.
