Ali, thank you so much for stopping by and your suggestions and comments... I truly appreciate it. I guess I need to read up more on the MLC threads... I love the DB rules, and although I have a hard time sticking to them, I also find that they dont exactly fit my H. I do find that when I distance myself or dont welcome him into my life, he withdraws even more and seems to just accept this awful circumstance. I just need to find the stregnth to let him in and then still have boundaries, or to meet his match, as you mentioned with your calls and emails, etc. Need to read up on it more.
"Men in MLC need a safe harbour to come home to and that isnt really what you are doing here." funny you say that bc i feel like I am pushing him further away when I say no to baby things, NC of acting as if... etc. Am I wrong for thinking he is going to battle through... I am the kind of person, for example, that I would say let's try therapy and see what happens, because i need to know that I tried. That I covered all bases and always can look back and say I have no regrets. H is the type that accepts whatever is handed to him. In the past, i am the person in his life who picks him up and says you are too good for that and need to accept better and more in your life. and always pushed him to try. This time... I have no way to help. It seems to me that he does become extremely sad and depressed
i am now curious to read up on MLC. And I want to read up on your thread and see if I can steal pointers that worked for you in your sitch.
Last night I recieved a text with a picture of a baby outfit he bought... my heart melted... but i didnt write back. I felt like I was going against who i really was. Made me sad.
Am thinking need to be nice to H. Still have boundaries, and continue to detach. Also need to stopped pushing H out... but no pull him back in.
